Post # 16
ananoabee55 : I didn’t tell my mom, or anyone unless I had to, until I was out of the first trimester. Honestly, if she has an opinion about you traveling while pregnant, just say, “I appreciate your concern, but since I’m low risk, my doctor said it’s 100% okay… and actually encouraged it!” or something along those lines.
Don’t let your mom’s opinions dictate your life, or you’re going to have a super hard time when the baby is actually here.
Post # 17
I wouldn’t tell her, purely because she obviously has a fear about women travelling whilst pregnant and I wouldn’t want her to be worried sick the whole time I was away. It would be pretty shitty of her if something happened and she took an “I told you so” stance, but I would just be more concerned about my mum being panicked/worried for any extended period of time
Post # 18
Kind of scary that your mom is in the medical field and has no knowledge of why most miscarriages actually happen. I’m also disturbed by the idea if you miscarried, she would blame you. For those two reasons, I would not tell her until later. And maybe provide her with a book or two.
Post # 19
I would wait in your situation. TBH I think that sounds better for BOTH of you. If your mom is this…strict… about certain things, it’s going to stress HER out knowing you’re travelling (risking her grandchilds life or whatever), and she will likely in turn, stress YOU out even more.
Save you both the stress, wait until you’re back.
Post # 20
I wait to tell personally, sounds morbid but I think its on many pregnant woomens minds that if something happen I find its such a private time and the last thing you want is other peoples stupid comments (trust me even the nurses at the hospital said some stupid things, the kept telling me ‘you’ll be pregnant again next month, I garantee it miscarraige makes you super furtile’ – erm im infertile and it took 6 years to get pregnant, I ended up needing IVF so no I doubt it) or making it about them or worse claiming you lied (yes ive known many women accused of making up their pregnancy) + I wouldnt want to hurt other loved ones either who dont need to know (what they dont know cant hurt).
if the worst happens there are many fantastic support forums online, helplines, charities and even the church held baby loss groups and memorials (they where really helpful for us and we still go 4 years on) and the best bit is you can talk and these people understand and dont say those well meaning but dumb and hurtful things.
Post # 21
Waiting 16 weeks to tell your own mother seems a little extreme, to be honest. You’ll be well past the first trimester and largest risk of miscarriage. You are even likely to be showing by then. The second trimester carries the least risk of medical complications and I’d just tell her that you are travelling then with your doctor’s approval. Too bad if she’s not happy.
The risk of an airline flight in the first 12 weeks and toward the end is not that it will cause a problem in and of itself. It’s that you may not have access to medical treatment or your own doctors if something were to happen.
Post # 22
We didn’t tell anyone at all until 15 weeks anyway, and then only immediate family until closer to 20. So I don’t see waiting til 16 weeks being a big deal unless you would otherwise be inclined to tell her/everyone well before that. While her reasoning isn’t rational, I agree with pp who said it could be very stressful for her while you are away, and possibly more stressful for you knowing that she’s feeling that way (plus maybe being guilt tripped throughout). On the other hand, if keeping it a secret that long will be more stressful then just tell her and deal with whatever comes. I’d say choose the route of least stress for the least number of people (but most importantly you).
Post # 23
Call her and tell her from the airport. Problem solved. Lol!