Post # 1
My 48 year old mom dresses like an 18 year old and it embarrasses me. I normally suck it up and don’t tell her, but I don’t wanna cringe when I look back at my wedding pictures and be embarrassed on my wedding day. I’m not saying it’s right for me to be embarrassed, but I am right or not. I asked if she was gunna get a mother of the bride dress from the bridal store in the same colour of the bridesmaids and she seemed to like that idea, but then texted me a picture that night of a cougar looking dress she already bought and asked if it would do. I said “it’s nice but not quite what I had in mind”. She seemed annoyed, but accepted it and said “maybe for the rehearsal dinner”.
I want her to feel pretty and wear something she feels good in. I really do! I just don’t want her to wear something similar to my teenage cousin!!
What would you do here?
Post # 2
Lol at your title. I understand how you’re feeling, but I’d probably just let her do her thing, provided she’s not like actually baring her tatas at your wedding. I have a 60 yr old aunt who went through a phase like this when she was between marriages a few years ago…it was really something. I know my other relatives were kinda embarrassed, but everyone just stood back and let it happen. If your mom really is dressed inappropriately, that reflects on her, not you, because she is a grown woman.
Post # 3
Maybe offer to go shopping with her? But honestly, if that’s how she always dresses I doubt you’ll find something that makes you both happy so you’re probably just going to have to accept that that’s the way she dresses.
Post # 4
Unfortunately this is where “no pay, no say” comes back around. Do you have enough in the budget to buy her something appropriate? Or do you have a chance to take her shopping and push her towards something more suited? It might not work but it’s more likely than letting her go dress shopping in the wild…!
Post # 5
You do nothing. She’s a grown woman and how she dresses is non of your business. You can set a dress code of course but really you can’t tell her what to wear (unless you’re buying her dress)
Post # 6
twinkletoeskenzie : The majority of MOB dresses are really frumpy, not really stylish. If you think your mother is open to suggestions, it would be a good idea to stay away from the traditional MOB dresses, and show her other options such as those pictured below. I would also reconsider having her wear a dress with the same color as your bridesmaids.
Post # 7
Nope! You don’t get to police other womens’ bodies and slut shame them—and that’s pretty much what you are doing to your mom.
Post # 8
I would go shopping with her. But I like claroquesi‘s suggestions. More youthful, body-flattering, but tasteful. A separate color for your mother would be nice. She’s not a bridesmaid.
personaperson : Eh, I’m normally of the same opinion, but there are levels of taste. And it’s her daughter’s wedding. We don’t know if her mom is wanting a bodycon, low-neckline dress, which I would agree is not “appropriate.” Most wouldn’t find that appropriate on any of their bridesmaids, either.
She can wear whatever she wants any other day. But even if she’s helping her daughter financially, she should respect OP’s vision for her wedding. Mom sounds like she likes attention.
Post # 9
My Mother-In-Law wanted to wear a wedding dress to my wedding complete with train and full beading. I said no. She ended up wearing a hideous neon green number with red flowers and pom poms. (Yes, pom poms.) I just let her wear her ugly dress. You can’t control other people. Assuming she’s not wearing something completely inappropriate like a wedding dress or a veil, let it go.
Its sort of sad for my Mother-In-Law because she’s not in many of the wedding photos because her dress is so ugly, and looked so unattractive against everyone else’s very tasteful clothes. Our photographer shot pictures around her and avoided pictures with her in them.
Post # 10
pussinboots07 : Well, see, you’re kind of just giving more clout to OP’s fear. That’s exactly what she wants to avoid.
Style and fashion taste are subjective, but events like most weddings have pretty limited dress parameters. It’s one day. I know people get sensitive about this, but everyone has a right to their own wedding. OP’s mom should be gracious and find something they both like.
Post # 11
twinkletoeskenzie : it would help to see the dress she *wants* to wear and what you would prefer her to wear. So post the pic she texted you….
Post # 12
Let hot mama wear what she wants.
Post # 13
I’d like to see a photo of the dress as well. It may not be as bad as you think.
Post # 14
I would either a) go shopping with her or b)just be honest when she sends you her options “can you please wear something more modest? This is really revealing, it would embarress me”
Post # 15
Plenty of people have issues with boobalicious bridal gowns, sheer-too-low dresses, so I don’t see why it’s an issue to be critical of other bridal party members’ attire.