(Closed) Should I tell the bride?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

if the Bride hasnt ordered yet, I say SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE! =)

**Oh and I totally believe in doing it nicely. Just say “You know I tried that dress on and its just not flattering on me whatsoever, do you think you could come with me to see it next time before we order, just for your final say or maybe you could reassure me on some things? I just dont know how to feel about it?” 

God I cant shut up this AM. Im sorry. One more thought. I am going through Bmaid dresses myself for my girls whom have various body types. If I based what my 3 girls will be wearing off of ONE body type, that is not a good plan on the Brides part. I purposely got my girls together one afternoon for a lunch date and dress browsing. And it really helped ME as the bride, narrow down what looked well as a group on them! I have girls ranging from sizes 6, 14 and 20.  I think suggesting a group try-on day would be great for your Bride! =) 

Post # 4
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Its her wedding so you really cant say anything. If I was you I would just be supportive and put on a happy face & wear the dress. The only thing you can really do is try it on for her and hope she hates it….but dont come out and say you hate it. If you try it on and love it then your stuck wearing it. Hopefully she hates it when she sees it on you ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 5
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I say suck it up. It’s her day. But if you don’t think she’ll like it on you, I’d have her go with you to try it on and start asking her if she likes it on you. If she’s still ecstatic about it, just go with it. At least then she knows what to expect. 

Post # 6
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Honestly, I know it hurts to shell out money on something you will never wear again……. but that is what you potentially sign up for when you agree to become a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

I personally let my girls go shopping and show me the dresses they liked. I picked from the ones they showed me… but I am much more laid back and less formal than many girls, and many brides have a certain “vision” that is very important to them. If you are asked how you feel about it, tell her (subtley) the truth. Otherwise, I wouldn’t make a remark. 

Believe me I feel your pain, last year I was in a wedding and had to wear the most HIDEOUS dress. It cost me $250, the color looked awful with my skin tone, and it was made of the worst material in the world. I threw it away after the wedding. It was frustrating, but the bride loved it on me and the other BMs so we smiled and went with it even though I wondered WTF she was thinking.

Also, I think @College: had a good suggestion. Ask her to come with you guys when you try on the dresses so that she can give her opinion on how they look. If she doesn’t like them, you win. If she does… just remember it’s only one day.

Post # 7
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

If she hasn’t seen it on anyone yet, can you send her a pic of you in it and see if she volunteers that it’s the most gorgeous thing ever or that she has also changed her mind?  

If she didn’t include the BMs in the dress selection to begin w/ then she really want the dress that you wear to be the one that she pics.  It would probably make her sad to know that you hate it or to not be able to pick out the dress.  Maybe take this one on the chin for the friendship?

Post # 8
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

if she loves it suck it up and wear it. Thats just part of bein a Bridesmaid or Best Man

Post # 9
Member
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Send her a pic of you trying it on, with a comment along the lines of “What do you think? Does it suit me? I’m not sure :)”. That way, if she is the type of bride who would want to change a dress that doesn’t look good on her BMs, then she will, and if she isn’t, then you haven’t been rude or offended her… ๐Ÿ™‚

Good luck x

Post # 9
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you should tell her that you tried it on and you didn’t think it fit your body shape that well.  If you have a pic let her see it and she is she likes it.  If you really look bad, she would prob agree you do.

I feel that if you’re paying for them than you should have a choice.  The bride should ask you whether you all agree with it.

Post # 11
Hostess
23597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@bitemytounge: Yeah, you just said what is probably the truth:  When you have to dress a group of girls, yeah…I wouldn’t REALLY want to know the answer either.  It’s inevitable that someone’s not going to be happy…

Post # 12
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Honestly, it is going to be impossible to please all 11 people with the same dress. The fact that she saw it on 4 different people and still wants to order it tells me that she has her heart set on it and that it is really what she wants. At this point telling her you hate it will only hurt her feelings and stir the pot because she obviously does not hate it. It sucks for you, but try to be a good friend and abide by her wishes for one day. Afterwards, you can scorch it or drag it through the mud if you want to ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@bitemytounge: oh wow 11 girls, yeah you aren’t all gonna love a dress, not gonna happen.  That’s insane though!  Just suck it up.  Maybe when you get it altered they can make it more flattering.

btw can u post a pic even just the model pic.

Post # 15
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

i’m sorry, BUT if i’m paying for the dress and it looks hideous then i would absolutely say something. Because on the day of, if you don’t look good, don’t feel good then as much as you try to “suck it up” you are going to look miserable. That fake smile will look like just that in her pictures. But hey, if she doesn’t mind her friends looking miserable then that’s her perrogative.

I mean tall and skinny usually can pull off anything. So if it doesn’t look good on you then I can only imagine what it looks like on girls of other shapes and sizes.

Send her a picture and go from there.

If you have to get it cause she loves it then, you will have a great birthday present for her after the wedding. ๐Ÿ™‚

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