Post # 1
I posted a thread about small e-rings, and they were all gorgous, and I honestly just feel lucky to have such a beautiful ring that my Fiance bought for me. But I’ve always been kind of fickle about things like this, and I can’t help feeling like I want a new center stone! Something of a different shape, or bigger, or sparklier or just different. It’s my fourth engagement ring, but my first real one. The other ones I bought for myself and kept exchanging for something different..
Anyway, anyone out there upgraded for themselves? Good/bad/regrets/never looking back?
P.S. My Fiance says he doesn’t care if I upgrade or change my ring AT ALL, as long as he doesn’t have to worry about it anymore 🙂
Post # 3
I wouldn’t recommend it… I would recommend getting yourself a new ring for another finger instead.
How come this one is your 4th one already?
Post # 4
I am all for upgrading! My Darling Husband doesn’t care either. I still have my original, and do wear it sometimes, but I prefer bigger most days. If you have no emotional attachment to it, I would trade it in and get something you love!
Post # 5
You’ve had to buy 3 engagement rings for yourself prior to this? That’d be tough if you’ve normally had a say in the engagement rings you wear, and now you’ve got one that you didn’t get a say in (I’m assuming?).
Generally, I’m against the idea of upgrading unless the ring is deliberately bought as a stand in for something else. Personally, I think it’s just juvenile to want something bigger/more expensive just for the sake of having something bigger. If, however, you genuinely don’t like the style of the ring, or wanted a different type of stone, then that’s different.
Post # 6
I didn’t have to buy three, I just wanted one, Fiance couldn’t afford one, so I bought it. But the first one was so sharp it could cut you, the second one I was talked into by a sales lady and couldn’t afford, and I returned both of those, then I bought third, a marquise cut that I liked. FI and I got unengaged for four years, but stayed together, we just weren’t ready. Then he proposed with the ring I have now. The problem I have with it is that it always looks flawed because as an emerald cut it has such a flat top and not many facets.. it gets dirty and looks gross so easily.
I thought maybe something with more reflective power would hide that.. I work in a bakery and it gets sticky stuff on it even though I wash my hands all the time.
Post # 7
I find emerald and step cuts harder to keep clean because it’s much more obivous on those cuts that the stones need cleaning because of their large tables and less faceting. I personally have nothing against upgrading as long as both parties are on the same page. Since it sounds like your Fiance doesn’t mind, then go for it!
Post # 8
Ya know, I read threads like this all the time, so I said something to my husband the other day.
He’d be devastated if I ever asked for an upgrade. He had been on his own for 10 years and really changed his lifestyle to save up for my ring… (got rid of the internet, stopped getting his car washed, etc..things like that)
So I’m curious as to HOW on earth you ask for an upgrade without it sounding rude? Is it that some guys literally say, “Honey, this is all I can afford right now.. I promise we’ll upgrade it when I have more $.”
Or is it that we are constantly comparing our rings to others?
Post # 9
@missbluesky: I say go for it! If your Fiance doesnt care then by all means get something that makes you smile.
There will always be girls on here saying, ‘I could never do that, im sentimental about my ring’ or ‘my FI/husband would be devistated if I asked him that’ or ‘my FI/husband saved for years to get me this ring.’ BUT, their relationships are their relationships, and yours is obviously different. It is a decision between your Fiance and yourself and if he doesnt care, then do it! I have the same kind of relationship with my husband as you have with your Fiance. My husband was perfectly ok with me upgrading and I didnt have any huge attachment to my original ring. It’s something you have to look at a hundred times a day, you should love it.
I agree about emerald cuts, they get dirty fast and certainly dont sparkle like say a round would. What are you thinking you want?
Post # 10
Step cuts are much harder to keep looking sparkly. A brilliant cut would be easier for you with all the and washing etc. Cushions are also lovely, if you want something a little less popular.
Post # 11
@Rubbs: I don’t want to thread jack but I do want to answer your question (so long as it wasn’t rhetorical ). Some guys really do approach the situation stating that this is the best they can do right now and one day they promise to buy a new (ring/setting/stone). The offer to upgrade has already been made so there’s nothing taboo about pursuing it. Not all guys sacrifice much to buy a ring. For some it means giving up the internet for a year, but for others it’s simply just another purchase that required almost zero self-sacrifice. Some women buy their ring and perhaps it’s something cheap and disposable and the guy has plans on replacing it down the road. Some people buy stones from certain companies BECAUSE they have an upgrade policy that they like. Some guys were just never attached to the ring from day one so upgrading isn’t out of the question or devastating to them either.
Some people, like my Darling Husband and I, realized after the fact that we aren’t totally happy with my ring and would rather do something about it. Also, we were one of the couples that bought our stone from our company BECAUSE of the upgrade policy offered to us – so obviously an upgrade was in the cards. And there are tons of ways to broach the subject without sounding like a selfish cow. 🙂
Post # 12
My Fiance said this was the best he could afford now but he purchased it through a company that has an awesome upgrade program. I love my ring so I probably won’t upgrade for at least 5 years. That way I get to wear it a good while. Heck I may never upgrade but it nice to know I have the option.
Post # 13
@missbluesky: Do what makes you happy. I see no problem as long as your Fiance is cool with it.
Post # 14
If upgrading would make you and Fiance happy, go for it!!
Post # 15
@claireos: See, I can understand that. If it’s mutual, it’s one thing. If it isn’t, then I’d be hesitant and worry how that’d make him feel.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center
@Rubbs: thats what my Fiance said. It was instant. He said “Hunnie Bee, this is the ring I wanna get you. It’s small but we can ugrade later”. It was cool because after 5 years I knew we could have waited another 5 to get the ring he felt I deserved. So we agreed that for our 3 year wedding anniversary we will upgrade, since we will have been together for 10 years by then. I will probably get a whole new set since the setting I have isn’t suitable for a stone over 1ct.