(Closed) Should I upgrade?

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

I wouldn’t recommend it… I would recommend getting yourself a new ring for another finger instead.

How come this one is your 4th one already?

Post # 4
Member
4332 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I am all for upgrading!  My Darling Husband doesn’t care either.  I still have my original, and do wear it sometimes, but I prefer bigger most days.   If you have no emotional attachment to it, I would trade it in and get something you love!

Post # 5
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You’ve had to buy 3 engagement rings for yourself prior to this? That’d be tough if you’ve normally had a say in the engagement rings you wear, and now you’ve got one that you didn’t get a say in (I’m assuming?).

Generally, I’m against the idea of upgrading unless the ring is deliberately bought as a stand in for something else. Personally, I think it’s just juvenile to want something bigger/more expensive just for the sake of having something bigger. If, however, you genuinely don’t like the style of the ring, or wanted a different type of stone, then that’s different.

 

Post # 7
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I find emerald and step cuts harder to keep clean because it’s much more obivous on those cuts that the stones need cleaning because of their large tables and less faceting.  I personally have nothing against upgrading as long as both parties are on the same page.  Since it sounds like your Fiance doesn’t mind, then go for it!

Post # 8
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ya know, I read threads like this all the time, so I said something to my husband the other day. 

He’d be devastated if I ever asked for an upgrade.  He had been on his own for 10 years and really changed his lifestyle to save up for my ring… (got rid of the internet, stopped getting his car washed, etc..things like that)

So I’m curious as to HOW on earth you ask for an upgrade without it sounding rude?  Is it that some guys literally say, “Honey, this is all I can afford right now.. I promise we’ll upgrade it when I have more $.”

Or is it that we are constantly comparing our rings to others?

Post # 9
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@missbluesky:  I say go for it!  If your Fiance doesnt care then by all means get something that makes you smile. 

There will always be girls on here saying, ‘I could never do that, im sentimental about my ring’ or ‘my FI/husband would be devistated if I asked him that’ or ‘my FI/husband saved for years to get me this ring.’  BUT, their relationships are their relationships, and yours is obviously different.  It is a decision between your Fiance and yourself and if he doesnt care, then do it!  I have the same kind of relationship with my husband as you have with your Fiance.  My husband was perfectly ok with me upgrading and I didnt have any huge attachment to my original ring.  It’s something you have to look at a hundred times a day, you should love it. 

I agree about emerald cuts, they get dirty fast and certainly dont sparkle like say a round would.  What are you thinking you want?

Post # 10
Member
4332 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Step cuts are much harder to keep looking sparkly.  A brilliant cut would be easier for you with all the and washing etc.  Cushions are also lovely, if you want something a little less popular.

Post # 11
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

@Rubbs:  I don’t want to thread jack but I do want to answer your question (so long as it wasn’t rhetorical Wink). Some guys really do approach the situation stating that this is the best they can do right now and one day they promise to buy a new (ring/setting/stone). The offer to upgrade has already been made so there’s nothing taboo about pursuing it. Not all guys sacrifice much to buy a ring. For some it means giving up the internet for a year, but for others it’s simply just another purchase that required almost zero self-sacrifice. Some women buy their ring and perhaps it’s something cheap and disposable and the guy has plans on replacing it down the road. Some people buy stones from certain companies BECAUSE they have an upgrade policy that they like. Some guys were just never attached to the ring from day one so upgrading isn’t out of the question or devastating to them either.

Some people, like my Darling Husband and I, realized after the fact that we aren’t totally happy with my ring and would rather do something about it. Also, we were one of the couples that bought our stone from our company BECAUSE of the upgrade policy offered to us – so obviously an upgrade was in the cards. And there are tons of ways to broach the subject without sounding like a selfish cow. 🙂

Post # 12
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@claireos:  +1

My Fiance said this was the best he could afford now but he purchased it through a company that has an awesome upgrade program. I love my ring so I probably won’t upgrade for at least 5 years. That way I get to wear it a good while. Heck I may never upgrade but it nice to know I have the option. 

Post # 13
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@missbluesky:  Do what makes you happy. I see no problem as long as your Fiance is cool with it.

Post # 14
Member
4436 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

If upgrading would make you and Fiance happy, go for it!!

Post # 15
Member
8472 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@claireos:  See, I can understand that.  If it’s mutual, it’s one thing.  If it isn’t, then I’d be hesitant and worry how that’d make him feel.

Post # 16
Member
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@Rubbs:  thats what my Fiance said. It was instant. He said “Hunnie Bee, this is the ring I wanna get you. It’s small but we can ugrade later”. It was cool because after 5 years I knew we could have waited another 5 to get the ring he felt I deserved. So we agreed that for our 3 year wedding anniversary we will upgrade, since we will have been together for 10 years by then. I will probably get a whole new set since the setting I have isn’t suitable for a stone over 1ct.

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