Post # 16
GO to California! I moved here 4 years ago from the East Coast and now I never want to leave.
My only caveat is that housing in CA (especially the SF Bay Area) is going to be way more expensive than what you are accustomed to in the Midwest. In most industries the compensation will be higher than it is where you live now. If possible try to transfer with your current employer or at least start applying for jobs before you move. Make sure you have enough money saved up to tide you over if it takes a little while to find work.
Post # 17
Go! Go! Go!
Do not wait around not living your life for a man who has no interest in you. One of those Cali guys could be your Mr Right!
Post # 18
reg56 : Enjoy California!! New adventures await! You deserve the best, go find it out west!!!
Post # 19
If The Hills taught me anything, it’s to never pass up a great opportunity for some uncommitting jerk. Lauren Conrad didn’t go to Paris so she could stay with her loser boyfriend and look how that turned out.
In all seriousness though, go to California, it sounds like it will be an awesome experience!
Post # 20
- Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA
He felt too overwhelmed with the idea of moving in together after 4 years? You did the right thing getting out when you did. Onto bigger, better things!
Post # 21
MOVE!!! Trust me, you won’t regret it. I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago- My ex broke up with me because he needed ‘time for himself’ and wanted to do some ‘soul searching’. I was heart broken because I thought he was the love of my life. After the break up we stayed in contact and I was always hoping to get back together. Around 3 months after the break up, I got approved for a Master’s degree in another country- I initialy only applied for it to see if they would accept me, but then I had to make a decision: Staying where I am (and where I lived for years!) and hoping to get back together with my ex, or leaving and giving up on him. I decided to leave and to chase my dreams, as hard as it was. What happened? My ex wanted me back, about eight months after the break up (when I already lived in the new country). He tried to get me to move back after the Master’s degree, but at that point I was already over him. I made so many new friends, experienced so many great things and just realized I deserved better, and I realized I made the right decision. Today, I’m still living abroad, with a new boyfriend 🙂
You’re young, go after your dreams! If it’s meant to be with your ex, there will still be a possibility for you to get back together with him, distance doesn’t matter. Probably you will be over him in no time though and meet someone else anyways.
Post # 22
reg56 : You’re hurting right now because 4 years is a long time. But this guy does not love you or care for you like he might say. If he did, he would not have broken up with you.
Take this as an opportunity to move forward with your life and meet somebody better who is going to uplift you and add to your life — not drag you down emotionally.
Post # 23
Oh my days, go to California! UK bee here who is *obsessed* with the place but being British rather than American… so hard to move there. You want to be with someone who *wants* to be with you!! Not may want to be with you at some undisclosed time in the future… you’re young and SFO is ace! Do ittttt! & lots of luck to you 🙂
Post # 24
Go to Cali. It might be hard to leave and there may be challenges, but you will grow as a person and have wonderful new experiences and you could build a life even better than what you had before. Go on the adventure, don’t wait around missing opportunities for a wishy washy guy.
Post # 26
dalia88 : Thanks so much for sharing your story with me! Tons of similarities. Did anything in particular give you the strength to move even though you hoped to get back together?
I have moments where I feel really strong and think “I’m gonna do it! I’ll move to CA!” and other moments when I’m home alone (all his stuff is still here & is a constant reminder) and I think I can’t possibly leave.
Post # 27
reg56 : hi bee! I’m just south of SF and would love to give you advice on what to do and see and maybe even introduce you to some of my friends that live there. I highly recommend trying to at least get some interviews lined up if you can. What industry are you in? The job market and housing market can be bleak, but don’t let that hold you back.
California, especially San Francisco, as a liberal vegetarian?! Are you kidding? Why aren’t you here already!!! Let’s be California friends!
Post # 28
teacher-bee-in-the-sea : aw thank you! that sounds wonderful! I’m in the retail fashion industry actually. I work as a photo stylist, styling apparel for websites. I just started doing some research about which companies are based in SF and would definitely want to find a job or at least freelance work before making the move.
Do you love living there? Sounds like you have a good group of friends and positive outlook! Love it!
Post # 29
Come to California! You already got great feedback from the others so I’m just adding more encouragement!
Post # 30
Never put your own life on hold waiting around for someone else. Your ex is just stringing you along, waltzing in and out of your life whenever he feels like. That isn’t what a relationship is supposed to be. I was in a similar situation before, and ended up passing up a great opportunity waiting around for a guy I thought I loved. I regret it every day of my life.
Go through your apartment, put all his stuff in a big bag and drop it off on his parents’ doorstep. Then go to California and get your fresh start. Good luck!!