(Closed) Should I wait to ask?..

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

yes.  there’s really no need to ask until about 6-9 months before the wedding anyway. 

Post # 4
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would wait. My wedding in October 2014, and I won’t ask my girls until October this year at the earliest.

Post # 6
6741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sariibear:  hrm.. then just tell her that you want her to be in your wedding party, but that if it’s too much for her right now, you understand and to take her time making a decision – whether she’s in or out. 

Post # 7
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

you have enough time… I’m sure she’ll appreciate you waiting… there’s nothing worse than going throgh a breakup and having someone else’s happiness being flaunted in front of her

Post # 8
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Depends. It took me more than six months to get through my rough breakup. I was also Maid/Matron of Honor at the time. While I was asked wayyy before the breakup, it really didn’t bother me. 

I say maybe ask in a few weeks, but don’t give her any tasks or anything for at least a few months. 

Post # 9
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would wait. Just be there for her as a friend. 

Post # 10
629 posts
Busy bee

@sariibear:  I would say talk to her about it now, but in more of a vague sense. Like, you know she’s dealing with a lot, you’re not asking her to do more than she feels she can at the moment, but you do want her with you on the day of. You never know, she may feel helping you as a Bridesmaid or Best Man is just the right distraction she needs right now.

Post # 11
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@pocketfox:  I have to say that I agree with you.  I would bring it up now as well, just super gently, given that your other girls have been asked.  You wouldn’t want her to feel like she wasn’t in the bridal party just because you are waiting to ask.

Post # 12
2260 posts
Buzzing bee

I would let her know now, especially if you and your BMs are part of a group so she can prep early too. But if you were hoping to do something special/asking in a special way, maybe go out for lunch/dinner to celebrate and “formally” ask her once she’s feeling better. 

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