Post # 1
First and foremost hi everyone. I just joined this site and I’m hoping you guys and girls can help. I’m 22 years old and have been in a relationship for about 9 months. I love my girlfriend very much and have been planning to propose to her. Luckily, a contest by Sony called the PlayStation Blogger Position Competition happened last summer and I was one of the winners. Part of the winnings is a trip to Vegas with some things here and there but most importantly an “awards show”. This show is meant to congratulate all winners and nothing really else.
So I took advantage of the situation and worked with the people behind the competition and Sony to work out an awesome way to propose to my girl during this moment. I decided to do this because we both met by a video game that Sony published and we both simply love gaming. What I ended up having happening is a cool, short, video game inspiried video that would propose to her and I would then pop out the ring and so on.
Now a week before this will happened as of today her father died. Let me be clear about this because I wouldn’t have made this post if it was any other situation. The father was a terrible/horrible individual. All tears and emotions shown when we got word he died (drank himself to death) was due to relief he was finally dead and the basic fact that a prescence in her life was gone. This brings up my conundrum.
Should I postpone the proposal? The father wasn’t really a father but it still is a death in the family. Also, I’m sure I could take the proposal video and ring and do the proposal another way without the awards show. However, I’m still stumped if I should in fact do that since the father wasn’t well loved?
Plus, due to details that I needed from her I let her in on that this event was a birthday surprise since hers isn’t very far from this date. So when I initially told her we can delay the “surprise” she said she’d like for something happy now. The problem is she thinks it’s a birthday surprise. So once again what should I do? Sorry this post is so long.
Post # 3
First and foremost sorry about the death of your SO’s father, regardless of the circumstances. Death is always difficult.
With that being said, I say go for it! It seems like you have put a lot of work into the proposal and making it special for her…she will most certainly appreciate that. Good luck and best wishes!!!
Post # 4
I would continue on with your proposal as planned. She’s said she wants something happy to happen and this should/could/would make her happy.
Post # 5
@KyleD: Have you guys talked about marriage/a proposal yet in your relationship? Just asking because 9 months is a very short amount of time. And if this is a public proposal (and you haven’t talked about your futures together yet) she may be caught off guard and feel pressured to say yes, even if she isnt sure yet… or she may just freeze up which will make the entire thing awkward, for both your relationship, and all the people watching.
If you have talked about your futures and know this is what you both want… then I say go for it. It may be nice to ask her moms (or other close family members) “blessing” or what they think about it and the timing.
Post # 6
@KyleD: I second pretty much everything LeonardLady said. 9 months is not a long time to be going out before proposing. Lots of people on this forum will tell you that, especially due to your age. However, I say this as someone the same age as you so keep that in mind. If you have not discussed it with her, it could definitely suprise her- and not in a good way.
Also, is she an outgoing, attention loving type? Many girls would hate a public proposal. Obviously you know her better than strangers on the internet, just be sure it is something that won’t freak her out or make her freeze up/stressed.
Perhaps one final thing to consider- as you mentioned, it is a death in the family so it is obviously going to affect more than just her. Are others in her family reacting the same or are they really upset? Although your SO may be fine with getting engaged now, she may be disappointed if others don’t share in her excitement due to grieving.
Post # 7
@KyleD: I say do it but ONLY if you’ve talked marriage before and you know she feel awkward in front of other people. As long as you’re pretty sure you’ll get a genuine ‘yes’ and she won’t mind being the center of attention for a while, go for it!
Post # 8
I wouldn’t wait. This could be a positive thing as it could shed some light on an otherwise dark time. Go for it! (and let us know how it turns out!)
Post # 9
I think to go ahead with it! It will give her some more mixed emotion but it will be good!
If its a week after/ before the funeral as well.. when is that happening?
Post # 10
@KyleD: Im gonna say do it! You have a perfect opportunity to make it special. Shes already stated that she wants something to lift her spirits and I’m sure this will do the trick. I like the idea,
Post # 11
@KyleD: I would say postpone but only because you are only 22 and been dating 9 months. You dont really know each other and are still high on Falling In Love hormones.
Post # 12
@KyleD: I’m goign to go with DO IT! I know a family death is a major thing but you mentioned her saying she needs something happy in her life, I think she’d be very happy to get proposed to.
If family is an issue, she can hold off from telling relatives until she deems appropriate.
Post # 13
I’d go for it. It’s always sad when someone dies but I doubt anyone is going to feel like you disrespected this obviously extremely lovely man by proposing.
Good Luck! Sounds fun!
Post # 14
Wow, that’s a toughie. I’m sorry you’re in that predicament! I’d suggest waiting…8 years lol. 22 seems very young to get married! I’m with @koikove But that’s just me
Post # 15
OP didn’t ask if people thought he was too young to get married so I don’t know why people are giving opinions on that topic. I think you should go through with your idea. 🙂
Post # 16
Your idea is great and you should go forward with it.
22 is not too young to be married as long as you are mature and you place each other first. Good luck!