(Closed) Should I Wait to Propose After Death in Family?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you should go through with it. This will be the lift she needs.  Good luck!

Post # 18
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@KyleD:  It is so thoughful and considerate for you to consider this when you have gone through a lot to plan a special proposal. Don’t wait!  My mother died almost exactly 4 weeks before my Fiance proposed (and I am very close with my family so it was devastating).  Fiance proposed on a special trip we had already planned so he did not change his proposal date and I am so glad he didn’t wait.  The proposal was exactly what I needed.  It helped me feel secure and loved at a very difficult time.  It gave me a sense of having a “family” when I felt like mine was falling apart.  I know the situation with your SO’s father is not the same but it is still her father and she may still be having feelings of loss and “change”.  If you think this is the right time for the two of you, then I say go for it!

EIDT:  I also want to add that it gave me something happy and exciting to look forward to as well as happy and fun news to share for a change.

Post # 19
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

Do it. She said she needs something happy! I agree though, have you talked to her about marriage?

Post # 20
Member
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

Keep the proposal as planned. She needs something happy in her life. When my mom died 6 months after we got engaged one of the things that kept me going was planning my wedding and knowing that I had the support of my then fiance, and would continue to have it for the rest of our lives.

Post # 21
Member
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - backyard in the woods

View original reply
@KatB442:  +1 about the security and feeling like you had a real family when yours was falling apart.

 

Post # 22
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@KyleD:  I’m sorry to hear about your SO’s father’s death. Sometimes deaths of people you have had a rocky past with are even harder because there can be regret or strange feelings.

Regarding the proposal I say go for it. That sounds like the most amazing and perfect proposal for your relationship, and it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, so don’t let it pass. 🙂

Post # 23
Member
1122 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@KyleD:  9 months?  and youre 22?  do you know she’ll say yes for certain?  if i were her i would say no.

Post # 24
Member
1213 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@PenguinLove:  I agree with Penguin love! OP asked about the proposal based on the situation with her Dad’s death, not based on their age of length of relationship. Every relationship is different and everyone is ready for marriage at a different time.

Post # 25
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I say propose! It was all organised and will be just as special. It will give the family something happy to focus on also. Because, you know what? That’s life! Good and bad things happen all the time, together, one right after the other, good things don’t wait for bad things to have been over “long enough” – they just happen and because they happen, they make the bad things easier to cope with.

 

By The Way – I’m sure that we’d all love to see a photo of the ring once you have proposed.

View original reply
@nattiejeanne:  I totally agree. But I think that most of the Bees are not concerned about the couple being ready for marriage, what they really want to do is check that the OP knows 100% that she would be ok with a public proposal and just to double check that they have at least spoken about marriage (often there is the idea that a proposal must be a 100% surprise and so the man never even talks marriage with his partner which leads to things like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtPkxzHKLpk) ) Sometimes people can get carried away with ideas and it not even occur to them that perhaps they should think about what their partner might like. I’d like to think that the Hive is just making sure that the OP has thought everything through, just in case.

Post # 26
Member
420 posts
Helper bee

Propose to her as you had planned. She will be happy to know that she will be starting a new family with you! That is assuming you two have already discussed getting engaged and married. Best of luck to you!

Post # 27
Member
23 posts
Newbee

View original reply
@nattiejeanne:  +100 to this & all the similar posts. No one knows when the “right age” is for someone else.

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