Post # 1
Please help! I don’t know if I should walk myself down the aisle, or have my dad or stepdad do it. Having them both do it would be uncomfortable for everyone involved, so that’s not an option. A little background: My parents divorced when I was 12. Throughout my teenage years my dad and I had a ROUGH relationship, actually until about 2 years ago. He even went so far as to tell me I was “dead to him” if that gives you an idea of our relationship. But… he is my dad, and we’ve had our high points as well as our lows, so I struggle.
My mom remarried when I was 16. I love my stepdad, but I only lived with him for 2 years before leaving for college. We get along and he is a great man… but, not my dad.
I originally planned to walk myself down as to not hurt anyones feelings, and my fiance tells me he thinks it’d be cool if I walked myself down (or if he met me halfway) and told me it’s “bootstrappy” (lol) because of all I’ve been through. I kind of agree, but also kind of want someone to walk with me. If I’m being honest, I’d love for my actual dad to do it, if I had to pick between the two… but I CAN’T make that choice. It’s just too hard.
Any insight??? Sorry for the long post!!
Post # 2
I voted for self but what about your mom? Mr father passed away so my mom walked me down. Originally they both were going to.
But perhaps in your situation you could have your mom walk you down? Perhaps dad and step dad could both be at the end of the aisle (Like one on left and one on right. Then your mom could sit next to your stepdad after walking you down? Then you hug both dad’s and go to your husband to be?
Post # 3
I think you and your fiance should walk down the aisle together. You can have a brief “ta da!” moment when you first walk out, but I think it would be sweet to walk towards marriage together.
Post # 4
I vote for your Mom. I assume she’s been a constant presence, in your life?
Post # 5
If both men would be uncomfortable, and you don’t want to walk yourself down the aisle, my vote is for your dad. Your step-dad will understand.
My parents divorced when I was 18, both are happily re-married now and I have good relationships with my parents and step parents. We are not having a traditional wedding ourselves, but if we were I would have my dad walk me down the aisle, even though I’m actually closer to my stepdad now because of geography.
Maybe find a way that they can each make a toast or be involved some other way?
Post # 6
Fiance is meeting me halfway. I LOVE the sentiment and actually dislike the tradition of giving women away as chattle, so this was something important for me.
I sure AF wouldnt let someone walk me down the aisle who told me I was dead to them.
Post # 7
True– he did say that to me, and that’s why I am not automatically thinking he should do it. I love the idea of Fiance meeting me halfway too… I think it’s sweet!
Post # 8
I like the idea of involving them with a toast! That is a great way to include them. Thanks so much.
Post # 9
I considered this, but my mom and I have a difficult relationship as well (but that’s a post for another thread! ha!) Also, I feel that if I am not going to choose one of my dads, then I shouldn’t choose my mom, because then they’ll both feel upset that someone else got to do it. So I feel like it’s either one of my dads or myself.
Post # 10
See my reply to sweatergal007 about this idea. I considered it, but would rather not have her do it. Thanks for the suggestion!
Post # 11
My Dad died two months before I got married. My Mom wanted her and my sister to walk me down, but in my mind that was my Dad’s job. So I walked alone and then my Mom stood at the end to give me away.
I cried during the rehersal, but didn’t regreat it for a second on the wedding day.
Do what you feel is right. Who will meet you at the end to give you away?