(Closed) Should I want to know?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Is it wrong to want to know how much your ring was?
    Yes : (16 votes)
    17 %
    No : (76 votes)
    83 %
  • Post # 3
    1038 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Of course I knew how much it was, I helped him pick it out.  Also, considering we are gonna be starting a life together I would be PISSED if he did something stupid like finance a ring he couldn’t afford and therefore starting our marriage off in debt over a piece of jewelry.    

    Post # 4
    158 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I don’t think so ๐Ÿ˜‰ Although my SO does always tell me exactly how much every single gift costs him (lol) especially if it was a good deal! Haha. (“Aww thanks SO, I love my new slippers!!” “Glad you like them! You know I got them for only $10!” LOL)

    I might/might not have different feelings about this if my SO wasn’t always so open about things with me. It’s funny though, I usually have to prod for how much things cost that he buys for himself, but he is always so open about how much gifts for me cost.

    I don’t think it would be okay/comfortable in all relationships though. My dad, for example, hardly ever tells anyone how much something costs (even if it is relevant, like if I was shopping for a similar product, for example). But I think most women would be a little curious how much their rings cost (maybe even wondering if it is in fact “2-3 months’ salary”?)

    Post # 5
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    It will eventually come up anyway, lol. ;P I do know exactly how much mine costs though. I’m not sure I would care either way, but my fiancé usually gives me to receipt to (keep in a safe place) for the gifts he buys me.

    Post # 6
    264 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I don’t think it’s wrong to want to know. You’re going to be married and sharing a life and finances together, so I think it’s good to be able to talk about these things.

    Plus, if you want to get your ring insured, you’ll have to provide an appraisal value at least, and possibly some other documentation. So it will defintaely come up in that convo.

    (From what I understand, the appraisal is generally higher than the actual cost. So when you learn the appraisal value you may be like “whaaaat? are you nuts? how much did you spend?”)

    When I finally get my e-ring I’m adding it to my home insurance ASAP!

    Post # 7
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think it would be very impractical to try to avoid every finding out how much it cost, especially if your finances are joint. I wouldn’t appreciate my Darling Husband making a large purchase and leaving me in the dark about it because that money belongs to us both. I wouldn’t have been okay with it when we were engaged either because our finances were joint then as well. Like PP said, you’ll need insurance and the cost (or worth at least) will come up then. 

    Post # 8
    801 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I personally doo not know how much it costs, and while I won’t avoid finding out, I won’t go out of my way to find out either… But as far as financial situation goes, he most definitely did not have to take a loan, finance, etc. If we had such a situation, I’d probably want to find out.

    Post # 9
    2118 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My Fiance actually wanted me to know because he was so proud of how much he was able to save. He wanted me to know all of the details he put into the ring, how exactly he designed it and how much everything cost. I thought it was really sweet. 

    Post # 10
    2137 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    i dont think it matters but if you have the type of relationship where everything is told why not? i knew because we picked it out together.

    Post # 11
    501 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t know how much my ring was, but have a general idea. I don’t really care to know…I def don’t feel like I need to know. My Fiance is very smart and responsible and is very good with money, so I know he wouldn’t spend more than he could afford. I am sure he set a budget and stayed within that budget, and I know he shopped for months trying to get the most bang for his buck. 

    Post # 12
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We’ve been very open about our finances for years now.  I saw my diamond when he bought it online, and I was there when we paid for the setting, so I know exactly how much it was.  I’ve also seen the appraisal and know where it is in the house.  It’s also listed on the homeowner’s declaration which I’ve seen because we’re shopping for new insurance. 

    So… I think it’s silly to keep something like that from each other, but it’s gonig to depend on your style as a couple when you find out.  I wasn’t pissed at how much he spent, and it was a lot (to me).  My asisstant goes on and on and on about her boyfriend’s sister who just married this guy to get a $14k ring and who would EVER spend that much on a ring and what a waste and she’s a gold digger.  Needless to say, I didn’t share how much mine cost.  (the guy could afford it, she liked it, who cares?)

    Anyway – I think you’ll find out eventually anyway, best to be upfront and you both to be comfortable with it. 

    Post # 14
    14481 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I dont know exactly how much it was, but I saw the GIA certificate so I have a general idea.  I trust that he is sensible with money and I know we could afford whatever he was willing to spend, so the exact number is not a big deal.

    Post # 15
    5199 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    I know exactly how much my rings have all cost, since they came from joint finances, I chose the rings after searching and looking for them, and I made the actual purchase transactions! While I did not have an original ering, I would have known if I got one as we were looking together for one after we got engaged.

    I do not think there is anything wrong with knowing, especially as ultimately whatever goes to your ring is less for you as a couple together later if you are sharing finances.

    My husband and I are honest about everything, including even before we were married or engaged, so it would be odd to not be honest about that too. Especially as we were living together and our finances already were somewhat blended.

    Post # 16
    1013 posts
    Bumble bee

    I can guess how much mine will cost based on the specifications i gave him and the amount of money he has saved. 

    Its more than i originally thought…..like twice as much Surprised

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