Should kids in wedding party stay the whole reception?

posted 1 month ago in Family
Post # 61
Member
2904 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

kaitlyn8298 :  200 quid on 3 dresses that won’t get worn again is a lot just before Christmas. But then I’m from the UK where the bride pays for the bridesmaids dresses.

 

Post # 62
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee

kaitlyn8298 :  Oh yeah most of our weddings involve too much alcohol and some people get completely trashed…but the kids really are off doing their own thing and don’t notice much. I grew up going to a MILLION weddings and literally never noticed people getting drunk. Everyone was loud, everyone was dancing, everyone just seemed really happy.

I vote for a table set aside for them with lots of coloring books and regular kiddie cocktail service. Extra marachino cherries. 

Post # 64
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

kaitlyn8298 :  It sounds like your wedding will be about the same size as mine was — we had about 220 people show up, and among that many people, four kids was hardly noticeable. During dinner, I actually almost forgot they were there, even though they were sitting two tables away from us! 😅

Re: your fSIL, you’re trying to be accommodating and make things as financially easy as possible, and your fSIL sounds like she’s being difficult in spite of that. $140 is pretty average for a bridesmaid dress, and $30 for a junior bridesmaid dress sounds really affordable! These are growing children — if they were attending a fancy event of some kind, it’s very possible that she’d have to buy them new fancy dresses anyway, since they may have outgrown their old dresses. Her other expenses (Christmas, Disneyland, etc.) are not your problem; those are expenses that she’s chosen to take on, and a couple hundred dollars for formal dresses is way less expensive than a vacation. It’s very generous of you to include her and her daughters in your wedding, but she doesn’t seem to appreciate that. It sounds like you’ve already minimized your expectations of her though, so I would just leave it that way and don’t expect her to go out of her way to contribute. Sorry you’re not getting more support or enthusiasm from her!

Post # 66
Member
2904 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

kaitlyn8298 :  To me it’s a lot and I think you sil prob felt like she had no choice but to accept. 

Post # 67
Member
2904 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

kaitlyn8298 :  her finances aren’t your concern. You might think money is no issue for them but you don’t really know

Post # 69
Member
12320 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

You have nothing to feel badly about regarding your bridesmaid’s child. It’s completely acceptable to include only immediate family children. 

As for your Future Sister-In-Law, I think that she’s either hinting that she’d like to be offered an out, or she wants you to buy her dress. If she had made those comments to me I would just tell her that everything is optional, you don’t want to put any pressure on her, and that you will understand if she would prefer that she and or the girls not have roles in the wedding. 

Post # 71
Member
12320 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

kaitlyn8298 :  “I have told her though that i want to keep everything very reasonable, my aunts want to pay for my shower, so i’m thinking maybe the bridesmaids will give 50 dollars each towards favors, if that.”

You see, it’s things like this that are inappropriate and would be a turn off to many people whether they can afford it or not.  People either volunteer to be involved with or host your shower or they do not. What you can’t do is ask people for contributions that they have not offered. 

Post # 72
Member
6560 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Your aunts aren’t paying for the shower if they’re as asking for $50 contributions. $50 is nothing for some people, and everything for others, especially on top of other expenses. 

Post # 73
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

It is actually very rude to use kids as props to appease your fiancé, then to send them home before the fun part starts. You’re making assumptions that mom and dad will need to drink to have fun and relax and they won’t be responsible for their kids. Not everyone drinks to excess and some people enjoy the memories with their kids. My opinion if you don’t want kids present don’t allow any. 

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