Post # 1
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
Hi there. I’m new to this forum. My wedding is scheduled for next March 2014. At that time, my daughter (only child) will be 9 almost 10 years old. She wants to be the flower girl, but then I heard that her age was too old for that, so I suggested junior bridesmaid, and she got excited about that too. Only thing is, I’m not sure who I would pick for a flower girl. I don’t have any nieces, and neither does my fiance (he doesn’t have children either). I have friends with young daughters, a couple of whom are in the bridal party, but I wouldn’t want any of them to feel slighted if I picked one of their daughters over the others. Should I just skip the flower girl thing completely? Could my daughter be both a flower girl and junior bridesmaid? I’m having a non-denominational wedding so there aren’t any religious traditions that I need to follow, I’m just having a hard time deciding about this! The ring bearer is easy: my brother has two little boys close in age that are perfect for that role, so I’ll have them both. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
Post # 3
Member
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I would let your daughter choose her role.
Post # 5
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
I was going to say jr. bridesmaid, but if she wants to be the flower girl then let her be the flower girl. Or still let her be both. I think you can write your own rules. Do what makes you and your daughter happy – you want her to feel happy about her role and included.
Post # 6
Member
761 posts
Busy bee
I would call her your “Special Girl” and have her take on both roles. She can wear a “grown-up” dress like the BMs, but still do the flower thing if she likes the idea of spreading flower petals down the aisle before you enter.
It’s your wedding, so you can choose whatever role you’d like for her!
Post # 7
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
I agree with letting her decide.
Post # 8
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
Our Dirty Delete was 7 (turning 8 two weeks after the wedding), and she specifically asked to be a flower girl. I gave her the option of being a junior Bridesmaid or Best Man instead, but she insisted, lol.
Post # 9
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
My niece will be 9 at our wedding and she was much more excited about being a Jr. Bridesmaid. Which means we won’t have a flower girl, I’m totally fine with that!!
Post # 10
Member
1010 posts
Bumble bee
I was married 9 years ago, and my niece (about 8 years old at the time) was my Junior Bridesmaid. Didn’t bother with a flower girl, and she loved the dress I had picked out for her. Dropping flower petals is a nice idea, but messier to clean up later! 
Post # 11
Member
35 posts
Newbee
I also have a similar dilema -my nieces are 9 and 11 and both in my wedding- I let them pick. I feel a flower girl is meant to be cute and Jr. Bridesmaids are meant to be more mature- but it is all about how involved you want her- if she is your only child then maybe a bigger role works-
Post # 12
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I’d ask her what she wants to be.
Post # 13
Hostess
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Hm, how big is she compared to other 9 year olds? It’s hard to tell without knowing. If she is really tall/looks older, I would go junior bridesmaid. If she can pass for younger, I would ask her which one she wanted to do!
Post # 14
Member
900 posts
Busy bee
@Babsie:
I had a flower girl that was in 6th grade! She’s my only niece anywhere near the correct age, and she was dying to do it, and I loved having her there. One advantage of an “older” flower girl is that you don’t have to worry about misbehaving and crying. =) We had 2 ring bearers that were 5 and 6, and it was so cute to have all three of them.
They were all super well behaved, too.
Post # 15
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
why not flower girl? if its the role she really wants, I don’t think she’s too old.
Post # 16
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
Great, thanks everyone! That’s alot of good stuff to think about!
Member