Post # 1
This will be my 2nd marriage. My father walked me down the aisle for my first marriage. He and I maintain a relationship, but are not super close. Since I have been married before and have been out of the house and an independant adult since I was 19, the symbolism of him walking me down the aisle to “give me away” seems silly to me. Additionally, my father loves my fiance but has taken no interest in the wedding. Every time we try to talk to him about the wedding he just says “that’s great”, etc or changes the subject.. my fiance and I are paying for the entire wedding ourselves.
With that said, I told my fiance how I felt about that and he suggested I instead have my will be 8 year old daughter walk down the aisle with me. For symbolic purposes I’m much more “hers” now than I am my father’s.. we also would not have our officiant ask the “who gives this woman away” question.
I also wouldn’t mind walking alone..
What do you ladies think?
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
I think that would be sweet, but if it were me I’d have her as my bridesmaid and I would walk by myself.
Post # 4
I think it’s a lovely idea and the symbolising you both walking into a new family together is really special.
Post # 5
I voted no because I think the idea of your eight year old giving you away is a bit odd to me. I totally agree that you are more “hers” than you are your parents…but you’re not going to be any less hers after the wedding, right? She’s eight, just a kid, so it’s not like she’s stepping to the side and your husband will now be the major person in your life, instead it’s that the three of you will be a family. So while I think it would be nice to involve her in some way, I don’t think her giving you away is appropriate. I’d have her be a flower girl or something, maybe you could do the sand ceremony or something and use her, but I’d walk down the aisle alone if it were me.
Post # 7
@Wonderstruck: I appreciate your response. The reason I am reluctant about it and am posting the question is because I don’t want the “giving away” symbolism to be attached to her walking down the aisle with me, and I’m unsure of how it would be perceived. Like you said, I wouldn’t be any less “hers.” .. I get what you mean and at this point am leaning toward just walking alone and having her be my maid of honor. Thanks!
Post # 8
I think it would be a good idea to have her as your maid of honour and include her in the ceremony in some other way, a sand ceremony with the three of you, or you two giving her a gift during the ceremony, something to symbolise the three of you becoming a family rather than your daughter ‘giving you away’.
Post # 9
@christybtobe: I think it would be a lovely idea! Also you could ammend the officiant’s question of “Who gives this woman away” to a question that would be relevant to your daughter. “Daughter, you are entering a new family. Will you give to this new union your trust, love and affection and promise to do everything in your power to uphold them in their marriage?” or something similar (the link is to a WB post discussing alternatives to the phrase.
Post # 10
@Cariad: Wow, that’s great! I really like that. I definately don’t want her walking down the aisle with me to be mistaken for “giving me away” – already from this post I see that’s how it would be commonly perceived. That line alone would clear up any confusion at the wedding. I’m still unsure about the whole thing though.. 🙂
Post # 11
I found this link that may interest you about Weddigns and blended families. Some really fantastic ideas that you, Fiance and daughter may like.
Post # 12
@Cariad: Wow! Thank you for taking the time to research this for me. I love what I’ve read in that link and I think that something like this is a much better option for us.
Post # 13
i think its great idea. she will feel so special.
Post # 15
I think it sounds great… I am in the same situation as you, and in fact my 12 year old daughter will be escorting me (however we are NOT calling it “giving me away”… for the reasons already mentioned here) When we get to the alter, she will give me a kiss, give Fiance a kiss on the cheek and then sit in the front row with my parents. Depending how big your wedding party is, you could assign her another role. However, we have NO wedding party…. which is why we are including her in this way.
Hope that helps!
Post # 16
I think whatever you choose would work and if she is comfortable w/walking you down the aisle, go for it. It’s pretty cute and I like the post about having the officiant speak to her as well during the ceremony. I’m not sure if my daughter will walk me down the aisle, she is 17 and might be ‘over it’ all. I may walk also alone and have him come and meet me 1/2 way or 1/4 of the way, I’ve seen this (on four weddings, haha) and I really like it, and it seemed to touch a lot of the guests. (my 2nd marriage as well, first one was early in life as well).