(Closed) Should my FI's sister be my bridesmaid?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

You are not obligated to ask her.

Post # 4
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Future_Mrs_Riley:  Big fat no!

It’s normal for the bride to choose the bridesmaids (her friends) and the groom to choose the groomsmen. If you have brothers who aren’t groomsmen, it will be obvious that you’re not singling out her. Besides, by the sounds of it, I doubt she wants to be a bridesmaid for you anyway.

You could ask her to do a reading if you feel you must include her somehow.

Post # 5
8721 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You Fiance could ask her to be a groomswoman but no you should ask who you want to be your BM’s.

Post # 6
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I was in a similar situation, and I did ask. Wish I hadn’t. She made more drama for me than the rest of my bridesmaids combined, and let’s face it: you don’t need more stress right before the big day.

You’ll have the rest of your life to get to know her (and for her to mature). Just explain you were limited on space and wanted to honor people who were helping a lot with the wedding, it was nothing personal and you’re still excited to be her sister (haha hopefully).

Good luck!

Post # 8
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@Future_Mrs_Riley:  I’m letting Fiance decide if he wants her to be a bridesmaid or not. They don’t have the best relationship, so I told him that if he doesn’t feel comfortable having her in the wedding party, then I wouldn’t ask. If he wanted to have her there, though, I had no problem involving her. Vice Versa, I asked him to make my brother a groomsman as he and I do have a good relationship and I wanted him to have a role in our wedding.

Post # 9
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Future_Mrs_Riley:  I agree with @paula1248: in that if you do want her to be involved in some way, to keep the peace with the in-laws, then maybe she could do a reading or something.

I saw your thread title and thought we’d be in a similar situation (my fiance has sisters) but I guess not! I’ve decided to have his sisters (along with mine) as my bridesmaids, not only for the fact that he is their only brother but because I love them as well. I’m sorry your fiance’s sister is a brat and hope it all works out ok!

I suppose if you have a lot of bridesmaids lined up already it may be easier to say no if the in-laws say something…

Post # 10
2510 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It depends.   I was like that with his sister, but felt obligated to include her after my fiance asked my brother (he has disabilities so I was super touched).   However, since being asked, she has warmed up to me, and we’ve hung out and actually became friends.  It was a win-win for me… but I might have gotten lucky

Post # 11
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think all siblings should be included in bridal parties, and when they aren’t, people talk.

Post # 12
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would ask her. You may not like her but she’s going to be your sister soon. If your Fiance and your family want her to be a part I think it’s the best decision. Like a PP said, maybe it will make you closer. 

Post # 13
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Future_Mrs_Riley:  Nope. My SIL was a big pain in the ass until our wedding day. Almost wasn’t even worth the 5 months of continuous disagreements and jackassery on her part.

Post # 14
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Your bridal party should consist of the people closest to you, not your future in-laws. If you are close to her, then ask, but otherwise, she’s just a guest like any other guest.

Post # 15
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

If it common in your families to include her and it will be seen more as an insult then I would include her. I am not that close with mine and included her, and have no regrets. I would hate to make my ILs feel snubbed over something that in the scheme of things isn’t that big of a deal.

Post # 16
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Future_Mrs_Riley:  I would go the route of “you didnt want to be a financial burden for her”

If it comes up, remind them that she does not have the resources to pay for your shower, bach party, or her dress.

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