(Closed) Should my sister be a bridesmaid

posted 4 years ago in Family
  • poll: (please read post before answering) Should my sister be a bridesmaid?
    Yes : (8 votes)
    12 %
    No : (39 votes)
    57 %
    She should stand last : (7 votes)
    10 %
    She should stand first : (3 votes)
    4 %
    she should NOT have an escort : (5 votes)
    7 %
    Your Jr. Bridesmaid should NOT have an escort : (6 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    5480 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    First of all, you DO NOT have to have even sides.  Second, if I were you I would wait until closer to your wedding to make any official wedding party announcements.  People change, relationships change, and weddings do tend to bring out the crazy in everyone.  Just hang tight so you don’t make a decision you regret and later can’t undo.

    Post # 6
    526 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Your mom reconciling with your sister has nothing to do with YOUR relationship with your sister.  Also, your mom doesn’t get to tell you who your bridesmaids will and will not be.

    You already asked your sister and she already said no.  She can’t go back and now say “yes.”  The offer is off the table because she rejected it.

    If you want to honor her in some way, you could have her do a reading, light a unity candle with someone from your husband’s side, have her escort your mom during the ceremony…you get the idea.

    Ultimately, though, the question is not, “Is it rude to not have my sister be a bridesmaid?”  It’s, “Do *I* want my sister to be a bridesmaid?”  If yes, then include her, and don’t worry about whether or not your sides are even.  If you don’t, then don’t ask her.  

    Post # 7
    3574 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think being worried about uneven sides is a crappy excuse to exclude you sister.  We had 4 BMs and 6 Gms,

    Post # 8
    5480 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Yeah, she can either do a reading or something like sailor suggested, or just be a guest so she doesn’t have any “duties” or anything.

    Post # 9
    6549 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Anna10-05-2014:  given the situation, I would wait until you are ready to order BMs dresses, then decide. Given that she said “why don’t you ask someone who would actually want to be one?” –She doesn’t seem too thrilled.


    Post # 11
    2420 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    She doesn’t necessarily have to be a bridesmaid. That is YOUR choice, not your mother’s. If you want to have her do something, have her do a reading or something.

    Post # 12
    3072 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It sounds like your sister didn’t even talk to you. I’m glad she’s feeling better, but if she wants to change her reply to “yes,” then she needs to contact you directly. That said, even if she changed her reply to yes, I wouldn’t accept it. But that’s just me.

    Post # 13
    1231 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Sorry, I know it is your sister and all but I say no. I don’t think she should even be a bridesmaid. You asked her, she said no, and you replaced her. Now you have to change everything because your mom said that now she wants to be in the wedding? I think that is ridiculous.

    If you do end up putting her in there, she can stand at the end.

    Post # 14
    1685 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @sailor_girl:  +1, she reconciled with your mother, not you.

    If you want her as a bridesmaid, you can have her be your mother’s escort (since I assume your father will take you down the aisle).

    However, before you upheave your bridal party to include her, maybe offer her a reading at your wedding.  It will honor your relationship as sisters.  But, if she drops out last minute, you can replace her or skip it.

    Post # 15
    7656 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Anna10-05-2014:  Given the situation, I would say don’t include her in the bridal party. IF you want to include her, have her do a reading or something. It’s great she had a touching moment of healing with your mother, but does that mean everything is good between you two? I think working on mending YOUR relationship with her is the important piece–not that she made nice with your mother.

    Post # 16
    1169 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I’m going to go against the standard opinion here and say that you should include her, there’s no reason to start even more drama especially since she’s trying to reconcile.  Its just one day and not worth the drama of excluding her, and who knows, maybe she really is trying to reconcile.  You’ll have uneven numbers, and if thats the worst thing to come out of it then you should really think about what is more important, uneven #s that no one will care about or starting a huge argument over practically nothing.  

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