Post # 61
Really appreciate everyone’s insights and suggestions.
I believe my son’s objections stem from his long-seated resentments about being raised since he was two by his mom and stepfather who have been together and married 26 years and by me who has had a long string of 1-5 year relations with women who have come in and out of his life (or staying in his life but no longer as my girlfriend) during those same 26 years
As a result of this, my son and I have become extremely close. And the women in my life have played a much less important and less perminant role in his.
He has been with his fiancée for eight years and only had two girlfriends before that in high school.
I think he admires the consistency of his mother’s marriage and emulated it in his own relationship with his fiancée. I think he looks down on and is dismissive of my relationships.
I believe he wants only me at his wedding and not to stir up his old feelings and resentments about my relationships.
This discussion board has been giving me lots of food for thought towards coming to terms with how I feel about it.
Post # 62
“As a result of this, my son and I have become extremely close”
That makes no sense. Your son’s behavior and your inability to talk about this with him does not show you two are close.
Post # 63
My son and I are extreme close. We talk about this frequently together and in therapy. We just have different perspectives and opinions on this. We discuss this a lot and will continue to do so. We just disagree with one another on this.
Post # 64
weddingpop : Why do you contiue to make excuses for your son’s bad behavior? He treats you the way he does, because you allow it. Relationships of between 1-5 years are pretty normal.
Buck up. Tell him you will be bringing your girlfriend to the wedding. End of story.
Post # 65
Just don’t bring her. Why cause problems? It’s his wedding, not yours, &&& he doesn’t want her there.
She’s just some random chick as far as i see it. Not to mention, you are dismissive attitude about your past women and how you treat them is probably spilling over into his ideals about your particular choice in women as well… “Hmm… dad treats these women like revolving door garbage, so they must not be worth anything, so why tf would I wants these chicks at my WEDDING?!”
Post # 66
weddingpop : Wow has he ever got you by the gonads! How old was he the last time the 2 of you were in therapy, talking about how wounded this tiny guy is by Dad’s love life?
Sonny Boy is old enough to GET OVER IT! If I was your girlfriend and you caved in to his cranky tantrum about bringing me as your date to his wedding, I would kick your ass to the curb!
Post # 67
I’m on the son’s side on this. Leave gf at home. It has nothing to do with male genitals as some bees weirdly describe, but rather the fact that your revolving door of girlfriends doesn’t inspire your son to invite this woman to his wedding. His wedding. He chooses the guests.
Post # 68
weddingpop : Or the alternative view about how your son “respects” his mother’s relationship and not yours is that she remarried when he was 2 years old – young enough that he has zero memories of living otherwise and was unable to voice any opposition. But since you didn’t, he figured out how to manipulate you and use your relationships against you so he could have you all to himself and now he is a 28 year old man-child who is jealous of his dad’s girlfriend and afraid she might take your attention away from him.
Post # 69
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
Dont let your son judge you. Or run you. He is plain wrong.
Post # 70
annabananabee : You and me are on the same page anna. I would like to see what this Dad looks like, with this conveyor belt of girlfriends going by I am picturing a younger George Clooney.