(Closed) Should never have asked friend to be a bridesmaid. Help!

posted 13 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

You know, if she feels the same way, it will probably just be a PITA for her to do all the Bridesmaid or Best Man stuff anyway.  I would just be honest – let her know that while you really like her, it seems as if you’ve grown apart, and you get the feeling she’s not as supportive of or excited about your relationship as some of your other friends.  And of course, what being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is really about is helping you out and supporting your relationship and your wedding planning – emotionally and morally, and with time and friendship, and also monetarily, with the investment in the dress, the shoes, the shower…  Just let her know that you think that your current relationship just isn’t close enough for your to continue to ask her to make the investment in time and money to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  She’ll probably be relieved, and so will you.  I’m sure it won’t be an easy thing to do – but take a deep breath and ask her to meet you for coffee, and have the talk.

Your Fiance thinks it’s not a big deal because he sees the duties of the Bridesmaid or Best Man as primarily standing in the front of the church in a pretty dress – and because men have different kinds of friendships than women.  My Fiance has really close friends he talks to three times a year, and that’s typical of guys.  Women mostly aren’t like that. 

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