(Closed) Should parents be fined for their child's bullying?

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Should parents be fined if their kid(s) bully others?
    Absolutely! Maybe the threat of a fine will get parents to take this issue seriously! : (79 votes)
    61 %
    No way! We are just teaching kids that they won't be held accountable for their own actions! : (35 votes)
    27 %
    Other...explain : (6 votes)
    5 %
    The school (administration, staff, etc.) should be sued if they knew about it and did nothing! : (10 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    2113 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I’m all for a fine as an almost last resort sort of thing. I like what a PP said about mandatory family counseling. Fail to go to counseling? Here’s a fine. I also think community service for the bully may be beneficial as well, fine for not performing. It’s punishment, but helps out and may teach them something beneficial. I think if it gets to a point where nothing is helping something else needs to be done. I can’t imagine what, but something.

    Post # 47
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Parents should be fined + made to do relevant community service: work with former gang members, advocate for social justice, etc. 

    Kids should pay consequences: if they’re teasing a child for being different, they should have to volunteer at a non-profit who advocates for that group. They only get credit for effective hours of work, not hours where they just punch the clock. 

    School officials should be mandated to report bullying, just like they would report abuse. Kids who bully grow up to be adults who bully who have kids that bully. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    Many of us grew up in a time where bullying was still treated as a “teehee, kids will be kids” sort of offense. I remember addressing my own bullying with teachers and the principal, who took the general stance of, “We didn’t see it, so we can’t do anything about it.” Talking to the offenders was apparently out of the question; monitoring the playground, cafeteria and other areas more was apparently out of the question. I’m glad to see that times have changed. I had too many classmates kill themselves after enduring months or years of daily torment.

    Fining is one thing; however, I agree with some of the others that this should be taken a step further. It doesn’t fully address the motivation for bullying. We know that there are many risk factors: abuse of any kind, emotionally distant parents, permissive parents, to protect a higher status, to build up status (if they’re at risk of being bullied) and so on.

    For that reason, I do think that the family counseling sessions are an excellent idea, perhaps being required to meet with school staff (including counselors), etc. Rather than putting the money toward a fine, it could go toward those interventions instead (so, parents would still be paying for it). This could also be an additional way for authorities to look for signs of abuse, and to get bullies out of situations that may have turned them into…well, bullies.

    It is scary that there’s such a strong, “My baby is an angel, how dare you say he did anything wrong,” mentality among some parents. It seemed to become more prevalent when my parents were raising kids (my parents were older, so it was more of a problem with my classmates’ parents, who tended to be 10 – 15 years younger). It seems much more common with Gen X parents, and I won’t be shocked if it continues with Gen Y parents.

    Kids are completely out of control in the school environment. As an adult, we would either file a complaint to HR, or at least we’d have the power to quit/change jobs. As a kid, unless your parents switch schools, you are stuck with it. I still don’t understand how we could, as a culture, allow such nonsense to carry on with “teehees” for generations, while we’d never accept anywhere near the same treatment in the workplace.

    Post # 49
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    MrsPanda99:  +1000 being fined is ridiculous and it certainly won’t aid in teaching children to be responsible for their words and actions

    Post # 50
    Member
    871 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

     

    LadyBear:  +100 Anti-bullying seminars are a much better idea. It is far more por-active and is more likely to get the message through to kids. I agree with the poster that said if the bully comes from a poor family, the fine could be taken out on them at home. If the parent are bullies just imagine what will happen after the fine. And of course busy, uninvolved parents will just pay it and nothing.

    Post # 51
    Member
    3370 posts
    Sugar bee

    VegasSukie:  Oh good lord. Why do school districts (and obviously many other people) think that parents can control their children’s behaviors? This is about as ridiculous as my school district threatening me with a fine for my kid skipping school. This actually happened to a friend of mine. The kids are the ones not following the rules and the punishment is supposed to teach them to follow the rules. Punishing the parents doesn’t do a damn thing to the kid.

    Post # 52
    Member
    276 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    jadlnc:  um. maybe because it’s their job as parents?? you teach your kid right and wrong and enforce it with consequences. and you don’t teach them to throw their hands up and say “not my problem, I can’t control him!” and let them make excuses.

    Post # 53
    Member
    3370 posts
    Sugar bee

    AmyintheTARDIS:  Ok, um, you actually can’t control your children. You can try to teach them right from wrong, but that doesn’t mean they’ll listen. And just so you know I have been the mother of a kid being bullied, not the bullier. I also never blamed the parents of the kids who were bullying my son.

    I have raised all my children the exact same way and they all have their own personalities, their own ideas and their own faults. None of them have ever been bullies, but if they did it certainly wouldn’t be my fault. This kind of attitude is exactly why teenagers grow up unprepared for the real world these days. My job is not to ever control them, but to teach them to make their own choices. If they choose badly then they should suffer the consequences. Not sit back while I pay a fine I can’t afford.

    If you really think you can control your kids I will assume you either don’t have any or that they are very young. All I can say is good luck.

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