(Closed) Should she be invited?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5271 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

You don’t have to, but you should 🙂

Post # 4
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It would be a nice gesture. I think you should.

Post # 5
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you sould.

Post # 6
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You don’t have to do anything except pay taxes and die. But you probably should invite her.

Post # 7
Member
13070 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, you should to be polite.  There will be enough people there that you won’t have to see too much of her! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Nope. You don’t have to invite her to any showers or parties from an etiquette perspective. 

Post # 9
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It depends on who else you are inviting.

My shower consisted of my sister, mom, aunt, Future Mother-In-Law, FGMIL, Maid/Matron of Honor, and 4 cousins. It was very small, so in my case, I would feel no obligation to invite her.

Post # 11
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

@Roe:  I agree. Don’t invite her if you don’t want to. 

Post # 12
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@veggie_rachel:  I wouldn’t invite her. Odds are she doesn’t really want to be invited anyway! Showers and bachelorette parties are only fun when you really know and love the bride. Otherwise it’s just an expensive obligation that you have to bring a gift to!

Post # 13
Member
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you’ve been hanging out with them as a couple and the cousin is in the wedding, you probably should.

Post # 14
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@PinkFlemingo:  Agreed! It’s not like you’re inviting her husband to the bridal shower and not her…. bridal showers don’t include every female invited to the wedding. Those events are for your closest friends and family, not your FI’s cousin’s wife you barely know. 

Post # 15
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It depends on the guests attending. If there are a lot of family members, then I would include her just to keep the peace, especially if the gathering is so large that you are unlikely to talk to her much. However, if it just a “friends” shower, there’s no clear reason to include her. I’ve known ladies that had two separate showers for each genre of guests.

 

Post # 16
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I wouldn’t.

A similar thing happened to me recently. I went to a wedding where my Fiance was the best man and I didn’t even get to sit next to him (even though all of the other wedding party got to sit with their SO’s) So when our wedding happens in Dec, I’m planning on not sitting her next to her husband.

 

People want us to be the bigger person but I want to be treated fairly. Treat others how they treat you. (i know that might sound b*tchy but don’t invite her if you don’t really want her there.)

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