Post # 1
I’m curious about who I “need” to invite to showers, parties, and the like (for etiquette, not to piss off family members, etc.). About a year ago my FI’s cousin got married and the bride did not invite me to any functions aside from the wedding. Now the cousin is FI’s best man and we’ve been hanging out with them a bit more lately. I don’t particularly like his wife and wouldn’t ordinarily invite her to anything but the wedding (and only then because she’s the cousin’s wife). Do I need to though? She’s not in the wedding, but her husband is, so I probably do, huh?
Post # 3
You don’t have to, but you should 🙂
Post # 4
It would be a nice gesture. I think you should.
Post # 6
You don’t have to do anything except pay taxes and die. But you probably should invite her.
Post # 7
Yes, you should to be polite. There will be enough people there that you won’t have to see too much of her! 🙂
Post # 8
Nope. You don’t have to invite her to any showers or parties from an etiquette perspective.
Post # 9
It depends on who else you are inviting.
My shower consisted of my sister, mom, aunt, Future Mother-In-Law, FGMIL, Maid/Matron of Honor, and 4 cousins. It was very small, so in my case, I would feel no obligation to invite her.
Post # 10
Thanks for putting it all in perspective, coombsan
Post # 11
@Roe: I agree. Don’t invite her if you don’t want to.
Post # 12
@veggie_rachel: I wouldn’t invite her. Odds are she doesn’t really want to be invited anyway! Showers and bachelorette parties are only fun when you really know and love the bride. Otherwise it’s just an expensive obligation that you have to bring a gift to!
Post # 13
If you’ve been hanging out with them as a couple and the cousin is in the wedding, you probably should.
Post # 14
@PinkFlemingo: Agreed! It’s not like you’re inviting her husband to the bridal shower and not her…. bridal showers don’t include every female invited to the wedding. Those events are for your closest friends and family, not your FI’s cousin’s wife you barely know.
Post # 15
It depends on the guests attending. If there are a lot of family members, then I would include her just to keep the peace, especially if the gathering is so large that you are unlikely to talk to her much. However, if it just a “friends” shower, there’s no clear reason to include her. I’ve known ladies that had two separate showers for each genre of guests.
Post # 16
A similar thing happened to me recently. I went to a wedding where my Fiance was the best man and I didn’t even get to sit next to him (even though all of the other wedding party got to sit with their SO’s) So when our wedding happens in Dec, I’m planning on not sitting her next to her husband.
People want us to be the bigger person but I want to be treated fairly. Treat others how they treat you. (i know that might sound b*tchy but don’t invite her if you don’t really want her there.)