(Closed) Should she stay or should she go?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
17 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

mmm, i’d say don’t ask her to be a bridesmaid but give her an official role like experienced wedding advisor and email asking her advice every now and again, or ask her to be an usher/host maybe?


and if push comes to shove, she lives a long way away so you wont have to deal with the fall out! ;-P

have the wedding YOU want.


Post # 4
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ooooh, that’s a tough one. When you said she would be “in it” were you specific in saying Bridesmaid or Best Man or bridal party? Perhaps instead/under the circumstances of her being so unresponsive, it would be appropriate to ask if she’d like to do a reading? What do you think of that?

Post # 5
27 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

have a similar situation myself and is driving me crazy , I wish there was a way to just shut-off the emotions Undecided

Post # 6
15 posts
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have a very similar situation. My best friend of 20+ years got married 3 years ago (and I was the maid of honor) and moved to florida with her husband and I just feel like we’ve grown apart. In the past 3 years we’ve probably talked 10, maybe 15 times over the phone, have seen each other but once. So i’ve officially asked my cousin to be my maid of honor and my other girls to be bridesmaids, and she was not one of them. So after procrastinating for days, I called her up last night to ask if she would read. At first she took it the wrong way, thinking read in addition to being a bridesmaid. So after she found out I was only asking her to read, she said she was really hurt. but she put on a front to make it seem like she was ok, then called me back 10 minutes later crying and saying how it was a punch to the gut…wow did that make me feel awful!

she didnt feel like we’ve grown apart, and so she told me she didnt know if she could read, then she said she would try her hardest to make it to the wedding ( so she may not even come) so i broke down and told her I didnt care how many girls i had (because I’m having 9) and that i wanted her to be apart of it. but deep down, i just dont see it being realistic ya know. and apart of me does feel obligated.


would it be appropriate to email her back and explain myself, or should i call her again? i mean i made my decision for a reason and after talking to my fiance and parents i know i should stick by it…i just with the emotions and tears didn’t come with it :/


good luck to you…i think you need to do what you want to do, its your day. i think a lot of times with childhood friendships thats what you miss…the childhood. the “what it used to be like, sleepovers, highschool days, late night talks” and thats what you want to hold on to, but in reality, people grow up and grow apart.

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