(Closed) Should Sis be a BM

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
516 posts
Busy bee

I have friends that I’m closer with than my sister.  Vice versa as well.

We are one another’s only sister, however, and we’re going to be each other’s MOHs.

You can do whatever you want, absolutely, but omitting her from your wedding could affect your relationship for a while.

Also, you can have your best friend and your sister regardless of whether your Fiance has another groomsman.  It doesn’t have to be even. 

What should matter is that each of you has important, supportive people standing with you while you say your vows.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

It is entirely up to you.

I am lucky, my sister is my best friend.

It sounds like a really awkward situation.

Could you maybe include her in the reception or ceremony somehow. Get her to do a reading, or have a speech?

Post # 5
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I asked my bestfriend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.  She was pivotol in getting my FH and I together.  So that was a no brained.  Unfortuntly like you my sister was upset by the choice.  However, I also asked my FH sister.  So to me it was logical to ask the BFF to be my Maid/Matron of Honor and the sisters to be Bridesmaid or Best Man.  If it was me, but it is completly your choice, ask your sister to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. 

Post # 6
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

From what I’ve seen in other people’s weddings (in real life) sisters are not the best bridesmaids of MOHs. They don’t throw showers and organize the bridesmaids like friends do. Bridesmaids are stressful too, so if you already know someone is going to be a stressor, don’t ask.

I would ask her to be a reader.

Post # 8
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My sisters will not do a darn thing for me. And I did lots for them at their weddings. They are both in my wedding party  cause they are my sisters. At both thier weddings the siters were the only bm’s even though we aren’t close at all. I was the Maid/Matron of Honor at both thier weddings but didnt plan any parties but I did do an awful lot of work the day of.

Her feelings were already hurt, will she feel better if you put her in now? if she really would appreciate it then why not? SHe isn’t your bff but maybe she just wants the title and that alone would be appeasing to her?

My Fiance wasn’t gonna have his brother in the party and I suggested he do a reading but we ended up putting him in for a grand total of 9 bm and 9 gm.

My thing is you do what makes you happy. pick your battles. if it will cause more drama then no, no, no!

Post # 9
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My sister is not and will not be a Bridesmaid or Best Man at my wedding. She tried to invite herself to be one. Tried hinting that she should be one using reverse psychology. But there is no way. Long story, but suffice to say we are not as close as the like to think, and I know without doubt that she will cause drama and stress as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

So I can understand where you are coming from in not being sure about having her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

My Future Sister-In-Law isn’t in the bridal party either. So as a way to inlude both our sisters in a wedding role, we are asking them to sign as our witnesses so they are both included in the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I originally only wanted one Maid/Matron of Honor (a friend) but family pressured me into having the sisters included (his and mine). So then I had 3 bridesmaids, no Maid/Matron of Honor. My sister didn’t deal with it well, and MONTHS later.. I finally just made her a Maid/Matron of Honor. From the start, and to the end, she’s been a problem maid.

Trust your gut. Don’t back down.

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