(Closed) Should spouses be in "family" photos of in-laws?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think legit in-laws should be included in pictures. My husband and I are always in eachothers’ family pictures…because we’re family. I don’t have a huge problem with people who are not married into the family being excluded. It would maybe be nice to get a picture with them included and one with just the family, but it doesn’t feel the same as spouses being excluded. 

Post # 3
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t be mad at her to do anything about it, but my feelings would be hurt (if that makes sense). I can understand if it was a professional picture, I know sometimes at weddings if you’re just engaged you don’t get to be in those. But if it was taken on your iphone and whatever at a birthday party I think that just get all the groups together.

I’ve seen by bf’s mom refuse a “family” picture because one of his brothers was not there… so all people are very different I suppose!

Post # 5
Member
15015 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I can understand wanting a picture of her and her immediate family only.  But I’d probably be a little hurt if there wasn’t at least another picture with the spouses, at least married ones too, and long term SOs.  But I wouldn’t think too much into it.  I can absolutely see me wanting a picture of just *immediate* family, we did quite a number of them for our wedding, but I also had separate ones with spouses.  Never printed or displayed the ones with spouses though… only the immeidate ones.  Maybe she knew she woudln’t care for it and just didnt’ bother.

ETA: I woudln’t say anything about being a spouse or part of the family too.  AFter she’s done with the one with her kids, why not jjust jump in and say, lets get one of everyone?

Post # 6
Member
7895 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It’s nice to have a set of pictures with just the family but also a few with the SOs. Boyfriends and girlfriends come and go, but there’s always a possibility that the girlfriend could become the wife. It would have been nice if she had included you in a picture, but I can see where she might be hesitant if you were a new person in her son’s life. 

However, it does seem odd that she wouldn’t include married spouses. Maybe she has some beef with some of the spouses that you don’t know about, and she didn’t want to play favorites. 

Post # 7
Member
15015 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
craigslistgirl: However, it does seem odd that she wouldn’t include married spouses.

Well.. I mean even spouses can divorce and no longer be part of the “family” but her kids will always be her kids.

Post # 10
Member
811 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Mlim:  Adding the grandkids part is really interesting I never thought of that. So for that I would be so offended and bring it up… so now I feel like a hypocrite! lol I would probably say something to SO first, but he would probably end up doing what 
View original reply
pinkshoes said and initiate the picture w/ others. With my family we don’t get together too often, so we already take tons of different combinations so I don’t think anything of it to have multiple shots. 

Post # 11
Member
15015 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

View original reply
Mlim:  I’m not saying that’s what she is thinking about spouses, Im’ just stating a fact.  The woman wants a picture of her kids, the ones she birthed and raised.  It’s not that shocking that she would want a picture with them.  She didnt birth and raise the spouses, so she probably just doesnt feel the same attachment to them and so it doesnt occur to her to include them.  But i doubt she’s purposes excluding them to be malicious.

Post # 12
Member
1770 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you’re not married I can see why she did this. Girlfriends come and go, but a wife is harder to get rid of LOL

Post # 14
Member
15015 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

And it’s not that I have no faith in marriage.  I’m married, of course I did so believing it would last forever. I’m just not ignorant to divorce either. I can think of at least 10 friends that have divorced by the time they were 35.  Shit happens.

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