(Closed) Should spouses be in "family" photos of in-laws?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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Mlim:  If you’re actually family by law, then you are family. I think it’s weird that she doensn’t include spouses almost as if she doesn’t recognize you guys as true family since they’re excluding you from a family moment. If she wanted purely blood family photos then she should set up a day for portraits, and not do something like that at a gathering. Why not ask your husband to ask her about why she doesn’t include you? As far as what PP said, unless she’s socially awkward, it just doesn’t make sense that she would exclude people from an activity during a family gathering.

Post # 17
Member
1764 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s ok for adult parents to want photos just of them and their kids- but they should take additional photos that include their children’s spouses. I believe once those children are legally married, the spouses are as good as blood to the family. I don’t think a girlfriend has a right to get mad at a family she doesn’t completely belong to yet, no ring = no family photo.

EXCEPT when grandparents take photos with their children and grandchildren- then I think it would NEVER be appropriate to leave the other spouse/significant-other out of the photo. Grandchildren bond that person to the family for life, much more so than a marriage certificate.

Post # 19
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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Mlim:  If they’ve been living together for 10 years, even if they aren’t married they are considered common-law partners which is the same thing as being married. It’s also a long enough time that even if you guys AREN’T married, most people will view you socially as being married because you’ve been together for such a long time. So the same thing still applies. Maybe she didn’t mean anything from it, but I still think it’s really weird.

Post # 20
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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Mlim:  To put it simply, if my Fiance is in a “family” picture, I expect to be in the picture too. (It is fine if they take multiple ones with some including only the children, but the children’s legit in-laws should be in the photo).

Post # 21
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m torn on the issue, because in my family we have a lot of family portraits that we can’t hang anymore because someone’s ex is in it.

So my mom has narrowed it down to photos of just blood relations, meaning her kids and her grandkids. She also will take pictures with spouses/so’s but she wants the option now.

Post # 25
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We did family pictures with my family last August. My husband was in some and not in others. It didn’t bother him or me..after all, the big canvas my parents purchased has him in it! I do believe that boyfriends and girlfriends are different though. For instance, my brother and his girlfriend were broken up during the time we took family pictures. If she had been in the large canvas, it would’ve been awkward and a huge waste of money for my parents!

Post # 27
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

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Mlim:  I think that’s a fair point if it’s your own family photo, but in situations where it’s parents and their kids, if they’re going to the effort of having portraits taken, they want to hang them up. 

My mom obviously hasn’t thrown those photos away but she can’t hang them anymore because my sister’s don’t like having pictures of their exes up at their mothers house.

Post # 28
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee

My family: We don’t take pictures often at all, but my SIL is always in pictures. At family Christmas, all the boyfriends are included. Leave no one out!

My SO’s family: They want a “just blood” shot, and then I also get included in a shot. That’s fine by me. 

Post # 29
Member
6339 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

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Mlim:  “To those that aren’t upset, is it because you think blood is thicker than water?”

No, it is because it’s just a picture.  I don’t particularly care to appear in anyone’s pictures.  When I want to have a picture with a specific group of people, I just ask to have it taken.

Post # 30
Member
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I would totally do the same, however I’d take another set of pics including the spouses.

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