(Closed) Should spouses be in "family" photos of in-laws?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 31
6421 posts
Bee Keeper

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Mlim:  Generally in our family it’s done more like this:

All of the sons, okay sons and mom, okay now sons and wives, etc.  There is no exclusion in such that partners aren’t allowed, but it’s more the sons of the parents are in a picture.

Currently right now my Mother-In-Law sees all of her son’s significant others as permanent.  Only two of us are actually married to a son, the third is basically married, since they are trying for a child right now.  So if she were to exclude any of us, now that would offend all of us.

Some people are just like that I would try to not be offended about her actions, maybe just ask how your SO feels about this and see if he could try to say something about it first.


Post # 32
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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Mlim:  Would I be upset?  Possibly, depending on how the situation was handled.  What should you do about it?  Nothing.  It just doesn’t warrant confrontation.

Post # 33
35 posts

I think it’s really strange to not include spouses, and even weird to not include long time relationships. My fiance and I were dating almost 9 years before getting engaged and he was in family photos at weddings, holidays, etc., as were all spouses. We would sometimes take one picture of just my 3 siblings and I, and MAYBE one of my parents, siblings and I with no spouses or children.. but never a whole family picture without spouses and long term bf/gf. The picture that would be printed and hung up and shown to people would be the one with EVERYONE. I would be hurt if I was left out, but I’m not sure how I would approach it, honestly.

Post # 34
1430 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I know FI’s family will usually do a pic of just their extended family and then one with everyone with their spouses and long term partners. I’ve actually been in almost every family photo my Fiance has taken with his family, but we were also in a one year LDR before I left the US to come live with him, so people knew we were serious from the get go.

Post # 35
13033 posts
Honey Beekeeper

In our families the spouses are always included in any formal group photo.  There might be a more casual shot of the siblings,  but the spouses are not  excluded for anything that is organized. 

Post # 36
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I wouldn’t be upset- Growing up we always had a photo of me mom dad and my sister in front of the christmas tree. Its our family!! After that as adults-  we would have new members of the family hop in for a photo – and then get one of the new couple.

 I wouldn’t get upset about it. Thats a Mom and Dad who just probably reminisce about old times – I doubt it was done with intention to insult and if it was . . .then they have issues LOL.

Post # 37
6523 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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Mlim:  In our family, everyone is included. We dont exclude anyone. I have been with DH almost 12 years and since day 1, I was in every picture. Of course there have been times when my Mother-In-Law would want a picture with just her husband and kids and thats totally fine but then after that, Brother-In-Law and I join. 

Post # 38
558 posts
Busy bee

That wouldn’t bother me. I will always have a special place in my heart for my nuclear family, and I assume my parents do too, as I assume any parents would. Sure it would be nice for spouses to be included, too, but I wouldn’t take it personally if someone just wanted a picture of their nuclear family. 

Post # 39
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My mom’s family isn’t big on group photos, but when they have them, it’s always whomever’s there…even long time friends….sometimes even people just visiting.

My dad’s side is huge on photos.  There are countless photos of him and his four sibilings, way, way more than there of them with wives and nevermind kids…although there was more effort when we were little.  There’s 15 of us cousins, now many of us are married so its back to photos of just my grandparents 5 biological kids.  When my uncle died suddenly of pancreatic cancer 2 years ago, it did help make things much less awkaward to begin with in photos.

Post # 40
3874 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
Mlim:  I would be somewhat put out, especially because after marriage, I am technically “family.” I understand having one with just parents and kids, but I think they should also include spouses and significant others. I think the way to fix it is to speak with your SO and explain your feelings. Next time a family photo-op comes up, ask him to request all significant others and spouses be included in one photo. It’s really not that hard to hold a pose for a second photo to include everyone. If something were to happen, someone were to divorce or breakup, you simply remove that photo from your lives.

Post # 41
1620 posts
Bumble bee

Life’s short, get in the picture 🙂  That’s my 2cents anyway.

Post # 42
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I did family photos just this past August and my side of the family was adament on including my Boyfriend or Best Friend because they see him as family (we’re not engaged, but everyone knows it’s coming). They did also take a few photos without him, but the fact that they did want to include him in a few was really nice.

Post # 43
2143 posts
Buzzing bee

I think its a good idea to take some without even the spouses. My cousin got married about four years ago and she now has tons of unusable photos because not a one of us 9 first cousins is still with the same person we were at that time. Almost all of our family photos included people who are now out of the family. I’m thankful we did a couple of cousins pictures with just the blood cousins. And I am thankful my cousin is okay with not displaying all of the family pictures full of exes.


Post # 45
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

If they are married they should be included. ESPECIALLY so if they have kids together. I am included in my FI’s all the time but also they have their blood-related photos which I respect as I will have with mine down the track 🙂

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