Post # 1
We’re not offering “plus ones” to single guests in general but are making sure to invite any established boyfriends/girlfriends of guests. While I understand this isn’t the optimal or most polite option, Fiance and I both have big families and capacity constraints have led us to establish this as our cut-off. Please don’t flame me for that, there’s no wiggle room there. I’m torn on whether or not to extend an invite so my teenage cousin can bring her boyfriend. I’ve never met him nor has she ever mentioned him to me but I see him in her social media posts. Her 21-year old older brother, on the other hand, has brought his girlfriend to family functions and I didn’t have a second thought about inviting her to the wedding, her name is already included on his invitation. Their family is relatively large and they have other siblings over 18 who are single and thus won’t be offered a plus one. This cousin is one of only 2 family members under age 18 that will be invited to the wedding. So do I invite the 16-year-old boyfriend? It is only one extra guest so it won’t blow our max, but if he hasn’t come to any other family functions why should my wedding be the first? I don’t want to offend the other siblings because we can’t host their random guests but I also don’t want to offend the teenage cousin since her brother’s Girlfriend is invited. Curious to read opinions and what bees have done in similar situations!
Post # 2
I would either give all teenagers a plus one or none. I’m not giving any of them a plus one but my wedding is small (like 25 guests small). I think you can give the 21 year old the plus one without also giving it to the teens, if they get huffy just explain you had to have a cutoff for money reasons and that you decided only people over 18 would have plus ones. That way it isn’t personal.
Post # 3
In general we aren’t since they are coming with family they will have company we are inviting our younger brothers 18 girlfriends though but they are both long term and we are friends with them at this point and I’m also letting my 16yr old sister if she isn’t with anyone still at the time invite a girl friend or two (which I’ve been around and know forever as well) just because I want her to have that so it’s prob not proper for me to do that but I don’t really care … But teenage cousins etc if they are coming with their parents etc. will not get a plus 1
Post # 4
i don’t really have an 16 year old friends but the teens i am inviting are my sisters and niece so they will be with my family. As mentioned in s PP since they will be with family and people they know they need one. Plus what 16 year old is really in a serious relationship at that age. I can’t even remember who my Bf was when i was 16.
Post # 5
Id totally give her a plus one out of consideration for her. As in…will she be the only teenager at your wedding? That would’ve been SO boring for me at that age. But if I could bring a friend or boyfriend it would’ve been FUN!
Post # 6
If she hasnt brought him to family functions yet, don’t put him on the invite.
Meeting the family, especially the whole extended family is a big deal, even at that age. Let her do it in her own time.
If between sending the invites and the wedding she brings him home then let them know that ofcause he can come.
you could even send the invites and then have a quite word to her, saying that you know via FB that she is dating him and didnt want to put any pressure on her but if she is ready for the family to know him he is most welcome, if not all good she can hang out with all the cousins.
i think the brother is clearly in a different place in his relationship so his gf should automatically get an invite. But don’t automatically disregard hers just because of her age
Post # 7
No, unless I knew them and liked them, or they were serious enough to be living together, raising a child together, engaged or married otherwise just no.
Post # 8
Under 18 and still living with their parents makes them a child still. Children don’t get plus ones.
Post # 10
I’d say no. I would just put her name on the invite and if she wants to ask if it’s alright if he comes, then you can let him come. Other than that though, we had older cousins who we had only met the partner once and did it this way which worked well.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t. Especially with other cousins in the mix. I mean… she’s 16, I can’t imagine her getting upset because her high school boyfriend can’t come.
Post # 13
I would also give all teenagers a plus one or not. You shouldn’t just pick and choose who can and who can’t have a plus one, unless they haven’t been dating that long.
Post # 14
I met my Fiance when I was 16, and we started dating just before I turned 17. If I had been 18/19 and invited to a wedding, I would have appreciated it if I could have brought her with me. So if I were you, I would give her a plus one.
Post # 15
I’m in almost the same situation!
My Fiance has an older cousin (23) who is engaged to a girl I’ve met and adore. They are getting their own invitation (as they’re living together) with both on it. Then Fiance has another cousin who’s 17 (the younger sister of the one mentioned above) and she Always seems to have a boyfriend. She’s not getting any sort of plus one. I think a really good way to address the situation is (if the 21 year old is living on his own) send him his own invitation with his girlfriend included then just send one to ‘The Smith Family’ or whatever. She’s still attending with her family, and I don’t think she’d have any expectation to be given a date. But, it’s your day! If you want her to bring her boyfriend but don’t want to give plus ones to everyone, it doesn’t matter! It’s your wedding and you get to make all the rules :)!!