should the bride pay?

posted 3 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

For my friend’s bachelorette we paid for her flights and accommodation but didn’t split her meals/drinks/activities once we were there. It was a 4 day holiday abroad so I think that was fair. 

It really depends what you’re doing but it doesn’t sound like you’re planning an elaborate holiday, so you should absolutely pay for the bride in your case. Even if this annoying friend is going to be sulky about it.

Post # 19
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

yellowbell :  For my friend’s bachelorette we paid for her flights and accommodation but didn’t split her meals/drinks/activities once we were there


Heh, I was just in Miami Beach a few weeks ago, and hot damn, one night of eating and drinking in that area could easily cost as much as the plane ticket and hotel! Good call.

Post # 20
3298 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

If the bride helps plan, she helps pay, because it’s inappropriate to plan events for yourself using other people’s money. If she doesn’t, she’s off the hook. 

Post # 21
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

I paid for my friends’ bachelorette parties (and the bride did not pay), but I am planning to pay for mine. I’m really not a fan of making your friends pay for things FOR YOU. I get that you pay for them and they pay for you, but the cycle is pretty ridiculous IMO and it also sets a bad precedence in terms of how much spending you are doing for each friend depending on the time in your life and the financial goals at those times. I want a local bachelorette with a one night stay at a hotel but I’m going to offer to pay for the bulk of the hotel because again I don’t want to subject my friends to pay for things that are really for me.

Post # 23
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I would never let the bride pay at her own bachelorette and would really side-eye a “friend” that makes a big deal about splitting her part 15 ways. 

Post # 24
11612 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

alfalfasprout10518 :  From all you say then it seems to be strictly about the principle of the thing for her. If money is not the issue and she was involved and agreed to a budget, then her attitude is really strange. Guests of honor do not pay. 

Post # 25
26 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with you. The bride does not pay. Furthermore I think the one who has a problem with the bride not paying, well, that was tacky. Split 15 ways? Damn, just suck it up. Like you said, you all are sticking within a budget. 

Post # 26
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - New Hampshire

I’ve been to two bachelorettes at 25 and 26 years old. The first one we stayed at her parents house, got a fancy seafood dinner in RI, went out and danced and got drinks and took a cab home. There was maybe 6 or 7 of us and we all split the cost for the bride. Some people who drank more bought more drinks for her. I wasn’t in the bridal party, but am a close friend.


The second one was a little tricky. I am the Maid/Matron of Honor but all 7 or 8 of her girls are spread across the country, so we talked it over and she’s doing mini bachelorettes all over the country. We did a small get together around the holidays and got dinner and some drinks. I paid for a few of her rounds. We slept at one of the BMs house. We also all went to high school together so it was fun to reminisce. I think if all of the girls had come to that it would have been much different. I want to point out that her wedding is a destination wedding for all but her and 2 of her girls, so when we talked about it she made sure that she didn’t want people to go broke over both the bachelorette and the wedding. She also was thrilled with having little mini parties leading up to her big day, so it worked out in the end!

Post # 27
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

alfalfasprout10518 :  I have pitched in for the bride at every bachelorette I’ve been to. 

Usually it’s only a small amount to cover food, entry, drink and transport, and the bridal party have been the one to pay for accomodation, entertainment and decorations. 

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