(Closed) Should the ring be one you like or does your SO need to like it too?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Is it more important you like your ring or your SO likes it?
    You should like it the most - you're going to be wearing it! : (124 votes)
    54 %
    Your SO needs to like it : (15 votes)
    7 %
    You should both like it equally : (88 votes)
    38 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @MrsMaskatoBe:  Haha, that sounds very similar to our experience! My fiance likes for me to be HAPPY more than he likes women’s jewelry. 😀

    Post # 48
    Member
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I was lucky–my fiance and I have similar taste. Before our engagement, when we shopped for rings together, we often liked the same ones.

    I think if a man vetos a ring because it’s too expensive, that’s okay. You have to be practical, and it’s better to save resources for something you two can share, like a home.

    But if you LOVE a ring, and it falls within the agreed-upon price range, I’m sure he can learn to love it too. My fiance was VERY particular about choosing his wedding band. The one he picked wasn’t my #1 choice, but that’s okay. I love it for what it symbolizes, and I also like it because it makes him happy.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee

    I voted #1. I picked out my ring because I have to wear it and it’s too great a purchase in my opinion, to risk me not liking it. That said, my bf did go with me on every visit to the jeweler as I chose a stone and setting and I’d occasionally ask his opinion in a “this one or this one” phrased type question. He did “veto” a few things (oval, pear, yellow gold) but I didn’t mind because while I liked them, I was super open minded and I liked other shapes and metals as well. If I was dead set on something he didn’t like, we would have have a serious talk.

    I completely disagree with the “take what you’re given and screw whether you like it or not” but I don’t agree with ignoring one’s FI’s feelings and likes totally…yes, you have to wear it but he is paying for it after all…I wouldn’t want one of the largest, most selfless purchases of his life to be something he couldn’t stand to look at.

    Post # 50
    Member
    544 posts
    Busy bee

    @kellym83:  Well, your SO shouldn’t despise the thing, but honestly, why would he care? He’s not the one who has to wear it. Personally, I adore my ring and my fiance likes that I like it, but he couldn’t care less about the actual ring, nor did he when we went shopping together for it. I’m sure he wouldve had something to say if I picked something overly gaudy, but I didn’t

    Post # 51
    Member
    2568 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    It’s more important that I like it than if my husband likes it, but luckily we both love mine.

    Post # 52
    Member
    1427 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

    If your SO is paying for it, then I think they should like it at least a little bit.  wouldn’t you be annoyed if you bought something expensive, and every time you looked at it you were like “yuck”?

    I definitely don’t think that he HAS to have the complete say in it though. this is not the stone ages. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    To me the ring represents the couple, not just the woman.  It should be a ring you love, but it should be something that your future fiance loves and can picture himself proposing with (and one he can feel comfortable buying).  The day we picked my ring out is a day I’ll never forget.  My fiance surprised me by swinging over to a jewelry store just to see what styles I liked for the future.  I was picking out rings I liked, and asked my finance his thoughts.  If he didn’t like a ring I liked I would ask why, and we would change it until we both were comfortable with it (guys are also visual.. so it is likely in person on your hand his opinions would be much different).  He wasn’t too overly opinionated, but his views help me figure out what I liked best.  I ended up narrowing it down to 2 completely different rings, excepting us to leave then.  He just kept looking one ring and said to the whole store that he liked that one better because it was classier and I was a classy girl.  It was the cutest moment ever.  He put money down on the ring and told me that he wanted to come back and to have it be more of a surprise but once he saw how I looked with that ring he couldn’t stand not putting money on it right then.  The ring is special not just because it is gorgeous, but because of how he picked it out with me and how the ring completely drew the vision for him of us getting engaged and married.  It definitely should be something you like- I definitely wanted to share my voice in the selection, but if he hates it, it might not feel the most special either

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