(Closed) Should they pay if the wedding doesn't happen?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: If you were a BM and the wedding was called off, would you expect to be paid for the dress?
    Yes! If I spend all that money on a dress for an event that doesn't happen at any fault of my own! : (58 votes)
    37 %
    No! That's just what you sign up for as a bridesmaid and I would never expect to be reimbursed. : (98 votes)
    63 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    420 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @All In:  in my eyes in the negative scenario where the bride was directly responsible for the wedding being off;  you spent that money on a promise of spending that day together / celebrating that day.  It is almost similar to an engagement ring in that sense,  like if a bride called off a wedding b/c she cheated on the groom,  you’d expect her to return the ring, right?  why not at least offer to compensate the people who are closest to you,  that are out a good deal of money.  I had already spent $1350 on wedding related events prior to being out of this wedding…. so it isn’t exactly a drop in the bucket.  For me it wasn’t expected,  but would have certainly made it sting a little less.

    Post # 34
    Member
    2604 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    As a bridesmaid, I’d much rather eat the cost of the dress and make sure my friend was okay… even if she was the reason the wedding was called off (she cheated or something), I wouldn’t feel comfortable bringing it up.

    As a bride, I’d apologize and offer to reimburse them if I could afford it.

    Post # 35
    Member
    831 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Etiquette-wise, the bride and groom are responsible for any attire costs of the bridal party if the wedding is flat out cancelled.

    That said, I’m sure the bride is going through an emotional time right now.  If I were in the bride’s shoes, I’d say something like “Sally, I wish I could pay you back for the dress you so graciously bought.  Maybe I can try to sell it for you and you can recoup some of the costs.”

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