- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
OK bees….I posted this in “Wedding Related” but wanted feedback from those of you who were following the problems between me and my Fiance last week, so I put it here too.
In light of the TURMOIL of last week between me and my Fiance, I’m not sure how to take this…
So Fiance put up a “honeymoon registry” on our wedding website. We had decided this together weeks ago.
Today my mom called me and said it was tacky, we might not get as much $$ as if it wasn’t up there, and she’s not crazy about it.
This stressed me out, because I don’t want another potential argument with Fiance about anything wedding-related. But he saw that I was stressed and asked why, so I asked him: “How attached are you to the honeymoon registry?”
He said he liked it. I said my mom doen’t, and I “might agree with her.”
He said I was “taking my mom’s opinion” over his, was annoyed that I was “changing my mind,” went to the computer, and deleted the registry from the website, while I was going: “Wait, wait, let’s talk about it later.”
He said: “No. I’m taking it down. I’m avoiding an argument. Done. Just let me do it and I’ll get over it.” So he took it down.
This kind of freaked me out, because I want to be totally on board before we make decisions, and I think he did it out of frustration at my mom’s “meddling,” instead of being really happy with it.
Mostly what bugs me, though, is that I wasn’t 100% I wanted him to take it down. I basically said I wasn’t sure, and that I “might agree with my mom about it.”
I told him: “I agree, I also don’t want to argue about this. But there’s more than one way to avoid an argument.” (ie, discuss and come to a decision together after a little time).
He also said: “Your mom might always have opinions about what we do, but we’re not always going to just go along with whatever she wants.”
I said, “Of course not.”
So….is this really just not a big deal, and not worth me fretting over? Or is it significant that he lost his cool over it so quickly…?
Ugh, I just don’t want to argue, ESPECIALLY about wedding plans. Neither one of us does, and I think that’s why he did that–he figured: “Just going along with what my future Mother-In-Law says is easier and less stressful than arguing with my future wife over this.”
OK, deep breath……….I do really hope this is a small, not a big issue, and that he is capable of simply talking things out. Maybe I need to make a list in my mind of all the times he has compromised over things without arguments resulting, to remind myself that he is not an impossible person.
Help!! Opinions, please!!!