(Closed) Should this broke bee let her MIL change up (AKA pay for) our wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee

Sorry, I stopped reading at your TOS violation having 2 accounts.

Post # 3
Member
10315 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I think you should milk Mother-In-Law for all she’s worth. You could also try charging an “admission fee” to the event as well. I would do a separate fee for the ceremony and for the reception incase people try to duck out on one or the other. Then you can invite as many people as you want!

I hope she’s planning on paying for your honeymoon and all incurred expenses? They have the money, it’s not like they need it. 

Post # 4
Member
2062 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Take her offer and be happy with it. Trust me, the guests nor you will care at all about the details about the chairs etc. All those things I worked so hard to diy, or do for the wedding to make the guests or myself happy were so stupid looking back at it. I wasted so much of my time and stressed so hard and it wasn’t important at all. 

Have the small wedding, enjoy seeing your two families together and savor that moment. 

Post # 5
Member
5234 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

Where is all of your money going if his mom pays your rent and a ton of his bills? Is it just that you’re in school and can’t work full time so your income is limited?

I don’t know… I wouldn’t invite guests to a ceremony and be like “sorry but you didn’t make the cut for our intimate celebration after”

You only sent save the dates, you haven’t sent invites yet. 

What’s the rush? Why can’t you wait until you are out of school and actually have the wedding that you want to have? You hate outdoor ceremonies so why would you have one just because it’s free? You want more people than your mil can host, so why not wait until you can pay for it on your own or at least contribute so you can have the bigger wedding that you want?

Why are you rushing to have this big wedding when your finances are a disaster??

Post # 6
Member
5234 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
slomotion :  she’s already paying for them to live, what’s a wedding on top of all that? Solid advice slomo 

Post # 7
Member
5234 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

How maxed out are your cards? How much debt are you in? Do you have any idea how hard it is to climb out of credit card debt?

Post # 8
Member
1349 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Since you asked for blunt opinions, I’ll give you mine: y’all need to get your money in order.  Stat.  Google Dave Ramsey. 

It’s extremely kind of your Mother-In-Law to offer to pay for the wedding since you guys clearly can’t afford it, and even though it won’t be your dream I’m sure it will still be lovely.  It sounds like she’s trying to help because you guys are in a poor financial situation, not trying to take control.  I didn’t get the wedding of my dreams either.  Few people do.  Let that go.

Post # 9
Member
5250 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

When is your wedding even supposed to be? If it is October why on earth have you already sent out invitations?  And why would you send out invitations before knowing if you could even afford the wedding?!

Clearly you are going to have to sacrifice the wedding you dreamed off because it isn’t reality.  You can’t afford it, simple as that.

As rude as it is clearly your only option is to call up the people you are no longer inviting and tell them you’re sorry but the original plans have been canceled, then have the small ceremony and dinner.

And get a bloody grip on your finances.  Your Future Mother-In-Law pays your rent and yet you still can’t afford your bills, but you spend hundreds of dollars on F’ing charger plates because it was a “deal”.   Get your priorities straight woman! 

What happened between a month ago when your credit card was “almost” paid off and now all your cards are maxed out? What are you still buying???

Post # 10
Member
10315 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Well, I mean, since they are going to live off the grid and doomsday prep after they are married think of the wedding as more of a parting gift. How much could it cost to live in the wilderness and prepare for the apocalypse??? Mother-In-Law should count herself lucky to have this opportunity before the government starts a disease eradicating the country. 

View original reply
Sansa85 :  

Post # 11
Member
5234 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

You’re already married??? Then seriously, WHYYYYYY are you rushing for this?

Post # 12
Member
5313 posts
Bee Keeper

Wtf did I just read? Seriously, forget the wedding OP. Get your life together.

Post # 13
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

When you don’t have any money, unfortunately you don’t get the dream Pinterest wedding. Your friends trying to convince you you need to have your dream day aren’t the ones who will be deeply in debt to throw that wedding. 
It sounds like a generous offer from your Mother-In-Law, and honestly it sounds like she will be more prepared to pull a wedding together than you anyway. You have bought a variety of random, unnecessary wedding items while broke, sent out save the dates to a wedding you can’t afford, and have asked/fired/asked again a bridal party Without even knowing when/how/if you will manage to have a wedding. DO NOT keep maxing out credit cards. Like sure, probably need renters insurance. But get a handle on that, starting out a marriage deep in credit card debt isn’t really a recipe for a happy, stress free relationship. 

Post # 14
Member
254 posts
Helper bee

Being honest as you wanted

1. you’re obviously not saving or trying to because you’ve maxed out your cards. As someone who has got out of CC debt what you’re saying isn’t adding up. Somewhere there has to be an expense that you can cut out- for me it was daily starbucks.

2. just because your FH’s parents are well off does not mean that they have to support you in any way. If they choose to then it’s out of their own gratitude. TBH a wedding is a luxury, not a necessity. You could easily go to the courthouse and elope. I say you cut your losses and either elope or get married at the beach house. 

3. You honestly sound super immature to be getting married. You took out a new cc without telling your FH to buy your dress. WTH. You’re in a partnership, now you have a pretty massive debt lingering without telling him. He is marrying into your debt as well. 

It’s not even that you’re struggling financially and irresponsible with finances that is worrisome, it’s that you’re hiding what you’re doing and expecting others to cover for your mistakes. 

Post # 15
Member
663 posts
Busy bee

Sorry but what an absolute shower of sh*t.

 

 

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