- 2 years ago
- Wedding: October 2020
Hey guys. Some of you might remember me from my thread “How did other broke bees pay for their wedding with no money?”. Well we’ve been picking up extra shifts and trying to spend less, and its just not working. We’re still living paycheck to paycheck except now all of our credit cards are maxed out; we found out our renters insurance expired 3 months ago and it was 200$ to renew it for the year. My fiance’ didn’t even want to max out our last credit card for that but I said I didn’t want another notice on the door bc we’ve already been threatened with eviction once over our 14 months living here/out of our parents’ house. So basically we (I) have planned this beautiful, elegant party that will be anywhere from 6-10,000 that we just don’t have. We keep saying “okay next paycheck for sure we’ll start saving” but we’re young broke college kids and we just have too many bills rn. Some of you might also remember my threads about “fiance’ and I fired our bridal party and now want them back” or whatever under a different username “xitsperfection”. You’ll need that information later.
So the other night my Mother-In-Law (who pays our rent and my fiance’s car insurance/phone/school whereas I pay all those things for myself) suggested that we take a loss on our 200$ deposit toward the venue (which is all that we’ve spent on the wedding so far, besides some charger plates and my 900$ wedding dress and $200 veil on my new david’s bridal credit card that I will never tell my fiance or Mother-In-Law the price of LOL). My parents and I are very poor and do not have funds to contribute to the wedding, but my fiance’s parents are pretty well off. They live in a 3 story house with 7 bathrooms on the beach, and its just them two retired folk. Anyway, she suggested doing a free ceremony on the beach (I hate outdoor weddings and I hate the beach) and then she will host us an intimate dinner reception at a restauraunt’s banquet room. The only problem is I already sent out save the dates for 60 guests and we can only invite 36-40 to this intimate dinner reception. To the 20 ppl we had to cut, we are planning to invite them to the ceremony still and explain that his parents are gifting us with an intimate family and wedding party only dinner. We might even invite these ppl over for a sort of small after party at our apartment.
It may not be the grand, extravagent party I was trying to plan for everyone I’ve ever been friends with, but we would be stupid not to accept the help at this point. I’m just afraid of hurting people’s feelings and seeming rude or cheap for inviting them to a ceremony but not reception. I also forgot to mention I will invite my old but distranced girls that got cut to a bridal brunch/luncheon thing the morning after to make them feel included and let them spend time with me if they want to.
Bees, I need honest blunt opinions but I also need comforting and reassuring! I feel like I have spent the last year as a stressed out bridezilla and it is killing me. My cousin had a really big, expensive wedding and I felt like I needed to compete with her to impress our families. We’re already legally married (though again, we’ll never tell anyone that) but we didn’t even kiss because we wanted the wedding to be that special *were married* moment with our loved ones. So I feel like I need to come to terms with the fact that I might not be able to have my gold chivari chairs, sequin linens, or elegant 3 tiered caked. I know we’ll still have A cake, and chairs to sit on; maybe i’m driving myself crazy trying to make every little detail Pinterest perfect.
Anyway, I asked 3 of my original 4 bridesmaids to be bridesmaids again and they are super excited and supportive, but worry that my Mother-In-Law is trying to be controlling and take over our wedding. They’re saying “you only get one day, you have to have everything you want or you will regret it”, basically trying to talk us out of essentially letting his mom be our wedding planner. She is very experienced with these things, and coming from a controlling bridezilla, I trust her to throw a beautiful dinner party. She spoils her kids and hasn’t broken a promise before. While my mom and I are awkward and anti-social, she is THE P.T.A mom who volunteers to plan everything and talks to everyone. I need opinions, good, bad, or ugly.