(Closed) Should this broke bee let her MIL change up (AKA pay for) our wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
4309 posts
Honey bee

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sunburn :  I’m going to follow you around today just agreeing with your posts.  

 

Post # 17
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

 If you’re old enough to get married you’re old enough to pay your own rent. Your whole post made my skin crawl…your priorities aren’t straight..like at all

Post # 18
Member
3818 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I just want to make sure I’ve got this story straight. You’re living paycheck to paycheck, while your Mother-In-Law pays your rent and most of your finances Bill’s. You have multiple maxed out credit cards, including a new credit card that you ate hiding from for fiance (hiding debt is a huge red flag and shows you aren’t a trustworthy person) you spent $200 on a veil despite barely being able to spend $200 to prevent being evicted. Your Mother-In-Law, who you are already  leeching off of, has kindly offered to pay for a celebration for you (side note: really dirty to lie about already being married and still take money from people for a wedding) and because you went ahead and sent out save the dates for a wedding you couldn’t even afford, your solution is to have 20 people come to the ceremony and then not feed or host them afterwards?

Get your act together. The fact the your relationship is currently built on a foundation of lies and unnecessary debt is a bad look. This wedding is the last thing you need to be focused on. 

Post # 19
Member
5332 posts
Bee Keeper

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sharpshooter :  I’m being stalked! Just kidding lol!

Post # 20
Member
670 posts
Busy bee

Your mother in law sounds kind, you are married. Ask mil to use that money to pay some credit card instead instead of having a wedding 

Post # 21
Member
10315 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I would urge you all to please read the other threads. I know 114 pages seems like a lot but start from the end and read backwards. 

Post # 22
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

For whatever reason, I read this whole thing. It’s a bit silly to say “you only get one day” because you’re already married, so either you already had that day, or you have 2 days. 

Post # 23
Member
1993 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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brokebee69 :  

So I’m confused about some stuff….maybe you can clear it up.  

How did it go from this: we’ve already been threatened with eviction 

To this:  Mother-In-Law (who pays our rent)

Uhhh contradictory much??   Is she paying the whole thing or partial and if so why would you ever be anywhere close to eviction???

You asked for it straight up bee and I’m gonna give it to you.

Where the heck is your money going???

To be honest bee, a wedding is the LAST thing you should be thinking of.  You are more concerned with a relationship celebration than with the financial strain its going to buckle under.   Are your BM’s helping you fund your wedding?…..No? then they can have a seat and you can stop listening to them.  You can barely keep your head above water and you balk at a free freaking wedding???

So not only are you a financial mess but your priorities are completely out of whack!  Advice:  either accept the free wedding (sounds like you don’t mind Mother-In-Law taking control) and have a fancy vow renewal or wait until your financial situation improves and have the wedding you can afford and can control.   

You need to get rid of this “keeping up with the joneses” menatilty….its ruining you and will ruin your marriage.

Post # 24
Member
10315 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Man, it’s almost as if this whole thing is made up. But I mean, it’s not like her other threads were fantastical and unrealistic. Or that she has multiple accounts. 

Oh wait.

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sablescorpion22 :  

Post # 25
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2021 - Dracut, Massachusetts

You’re already married… I think you should like… I don’t know, finish school first so you can get a decent job to support yourself instead of mooching off your MIL??

Don’t ruin your credit over this wedding. It’s not worth it. It’s extremely hard to get it taken care of later, trust me. I’m still trying to fix mine from when I was young and idiotic. I thank my lucky stars my Fiance is giving me a break on a lot of bills so that I can sort my shit out now before we get married.

Post # 26
Member
1993 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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slomotion :  Awwww damn!  Taken in by Ms. shit show.  

Post # 27
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

OP- there are SO many issues with your post.

1- WHY the hell are you tying yourself legally (AND FINANCIALLY) to a man whose mommy is paying all of his bills? That is dumb as hell. I’m sorry. NO. You are going to be financially struggling FOREVER with him.

1b- What are y’all doing to get eviction threats? I’ve lived on my own for over 20 years (in multiple states) and never ONCE gotten one. You two have been out on your own for all of five minutes and got one already? What are you doing?

2- WHY are you trying to have ANY kind of wedding when all of your credit cards are maxed out and you’re barely making it living paycheck to paycheck? Your prirorities are out of order.

3- WHY do you not realize that it’s extremely tacky to still expect a bunch of people to come to your wedding and then be okay with having to leave because you’ve been “gifted a beautiful intimate celebration” that they cannot attend?

This is a hot mess. Just NO all the way around. ALL of it is NO.

Post # 28
Hostess
10225 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

Closing. OP – pick one account and stick to it. PM me which one you’d like to keep, or I can delete them all…

The topic ‘Should this broke bee let her MIL change up (AKA pay for) our wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

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