(Closed) Should vegetarian couples only have vegetarian menu?

posted 4 years ago in Food
Post # 16
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

My wedding was vegan. My husband and I are morally opposed to eating animals, so there was absolutely no way we were going to buy and serve meat. We worked very hard with our venue to ensure the food we did offer was delicious. One thing we specifically did not do was serve mock meats (tofu, tempeh, seitan etc.) which people are usually unfamiliar with.  

We had mini pizzas and stuffed mushrooms as passed apps, choice of bruschetta or salad as main appetizer and the entree options were eggplant parm, penne pesto, and capellini pomodoro. We had a vegan cake as well. Everyone raved about the food (our wedding was small, only about 40 people) and the people who didn’t know it was a veggie wedding prior were surprised to learn it was all vegan afterwards. 

People can go one meal without eating meat, and often do all the time without realizing it (pasta, salads, pizza etc.) 

A similar concept is people who have a dry wedding because they are against alcohol. (We had a full open bar because we’re drinkers lol smile)

Post # 17
Member
587 posts
Busy bee

I think an event like that where you, as a vegetarian, can pick food on your own for all of your friends and family… I would take the opportunity and pick solely vegetarian and show how great and fulfiling that diet can be.

Post # 18
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

My fiance and I are both vegan and have been for years. We’re having a vegan wedding because we feel very passionately about our ethical stance. I just couldn’t imagine spending thousands of dollars on something that, to me, is deeply wrong–and especially not on a day that marks the beginning of my marriage. My fiance felt a little more flexible, but for me, the two options were having a vegan wedding or eloping.

We’ve also picked a caterer who makes only vegan food, has catered many vegan weddings, and owns a highly-reviewed vegan restaurant in our city. So even though some people can be skeptical about vegan food, I’m confident it will be well-made and delicious.

Post # 19
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m a vegetarian, my fiance isn’t. We’re doing appetizers at cocktail hour and for dinner, food stations with several options each. There will be no meat served. As we’re the ones providing the food for our guests and it goes against my beliefs to purchase meat, we aren’t. There will be a lot of filling (and delicious) options, but I’m sure there are a few guests who won’t be happy. (Like PP, we won’t be serving any meat substitutes either. I’m veggie, not vegan, so there will be cheese and dairy.)

Post # 20
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think the hosts should accomodate guests*, so I would serve meat even if I didnt eat it. Just like my recovering alcoholic grandfather served drinks at his parties. He was a good host and wanted people to have what they enjoyed even if he didnt partake.

*Some people find it to be a huge ethical issue though, and I wouldnt expect them to serve meat. (However I think thats completey bogus unless theyre full vegan… dairy hurts animals too) regardless I wouldnt take offense to a vegetarian wedding. I love vegan food, and eat that way for the vast majority of my meals even though Im an occasional meat eater.

 For your friends, you could guess based on how vocal they are. If you cant eat a turkey sandwich infront of them with out a lecture Id bet theyd serve a veg menu. If theyre more of a “to each their own” type they might aim to please.

Post # 21
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I always hate the argument that it’s not “respectful” to people who eat meat. Not only can meat eaters eat PLENTY of vegetarian options versus vegetarians cannot eat any meat at all, but as many other PPs have stated, for many vegetarians this is a morality issue and a belief system- I wouldn’t expect my jewish friends to serve pork and I wouldn’t expect my muslim friends to serve non halal. I don’t expect to be served meat at a wedding if the couple has an inherent issue with supporting the consumption of meat- that one meal is nothing to a guest but times 100, 150 and that is a lot of grief for someone who is strongly against eating animals. And frankly, I’ve always felt like, if you can’t go ONE meal without meat (not even a whole day! one meal!) for a couple that has invited you to share in the beginning of their lives together because they care about you, then maybe you should just RSVP no because you can’t care about them enough to respect their feelings on an issue that is very important to them. 

Post # 22
Member
5459 posts
Bee Keeper

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socalgirl1689 :  I would expect to eat vegetarian at a vegetarian couples wedding. That said I have a lot of food allergies and it would be nice to have that accomodated. I also have brought food for myself at events when nothing safe was available.

Post # 23
Member
9124 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I wouldn’t be surprised if it were only vegetarian food, and I wouldn’t mind either.  Are there people out there who really can’t go ONE meal without some flesh of some kind?  It’s not like it’ll be canned brussel sprouts, it’ll be tasty.

Post # 24
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

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socalgirl1689 :  I just imagined of what the RSVP card wwould look like, if it were plated:

___Mushroom and cheese ravioli with a decadent alfredo sauce

___Buckwheat and spinach stuffed peppers in a vegetable broth

___Meat

I let my imagination just run wild sometimes and see where I find myself 🙂

Post # 25
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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tinkks :  LOL that makes no sense. A meat eater can eat everything, incl vegetarian stuff, especiallty if there’s a buffet there will be something they like. 

A vegetarian cannot eat meat, so if it was ONLY meat they couldn’t eat at all.

 

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socalgirl1689 :  I think they ‘should’ serve meat options only if it doesn’t go against their values. I am vegetarian and I served meat at my wedding simply because I know ppl like it and I dont think all meaters should stop eating it (well I actually do think that, but my opinion is not that relevant to the world ahahah). 

I went to parties (mostly Indian) were everything was all vegetarian, I loved it, but all the meat eaters also enjoyed it. It’s only one night and everyone will survive without their meat as long as there is other nice food.

Post # 26
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

The Fiance and I are vegan, but we are having a Low Country Boil Buffet with a vegan option for  us and anyone who wants one.

 

Post # 27
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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h2lto :  Exactly! 

Post # 28
Member
3324 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

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RosaBride :  A meat eater can eat everything, incl vegetarian stuff, especiallty if there’s a buffet there will be something they like. 

Just to play devils advocate, as a meat eater, I can choose not to eat pasta. As a vegetarian, you are choosing not to eat meat. Why should meat eaters cater to vegetarian’s choices, but not the other way around? I see from your post you DID, so not directed at you personally. Just you in general.

Post # 29
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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scissorgirl :  Because I doubt the couple will only serve pasta. If there’s a buffet there will be plenty options. I’m sure meat eaters eat at least EITHER veggies, or pasta, or salad OR rice OR pizza OR any of the other 1000 options. 

Everyone has something they don’t eat. Or at least most people have an allergy or prefernece or something, but as a meat eater I doubt you only eat meat.

Same thing as for vegetarians, I’ve been to weddings where there were no meal options and I had to take the meat plate. We’ll I picked at the TINY side and then had some desert. Sucked cause I wasn’t satisfied and still slightly hungry but oh well… 

Post # 30
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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scissorgirl :  I realize I’m not RosaBride, but I am in the same situation as her- I am a vegetarian bride who is having a reception that includes meat because my fiance eats meat. At least for me, I don’t eat meat not because it is not my preference or I don’t enjoy it- like I might with pasta- but because I find it morally gross and for me personally not an option to consume. I respect everyone else who chooses to eat meat but I make the choice never to put it in my body, and if my fiance made the same choice I would be much happier not spending any of my own money on food that I found morally problematic. To me, eating meat is not an equal option to not eating meat, as though it were based on preference. It is more in line with a dietary belief. And it’s a false equivalency, because there are very, very very few human beings who ONLY eat meat. So I’m not asking you to not eat- I’m asking you simply to forgo somethign you like for one meal. To me, it’s no different than not serving pasta or fish or s’mores- it’s simply an option I didn’t provide. And if I DID know someone who only ate meat, and they chose to only serve meat at their wedding, knowing I couldn’t eat it- I would still go and not eat because it’s not about me on that one meal. I just wouldn’t eat. But like I said, that is a false equivalency because people who eat meat can also eat vegetarian options.

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