Post # 1
When Fiance and I first got engaged in March of this year, we were starting to become better friends with a couple Fiance has known for years (let’s call them Bob and Fran), but I had just met in the last year. Shortly after we got engaged, I went ahead and picked my bridemaids – my 2 sisters, my fsil, and 2 of my girlfriends, and Fiance picked his 5 – one of his brothers and four friends. Now, 6 months later, we’ve become really close with Bob and Fran. We consider them to be some of our closest friends, and we see them more than we see many of the people in our wedding party (for geographic reasons, mostly). Fran has very sweetly offerred to help with so much for the wedding – she even offerred to have me give her contact info to my Maid/Matron of Honor so Fran can help with planning the shower and bachelorette party. She and Bob are very excited and supportive! I don’t feel like I’m getting a lot of support or help from my other birdesmaids (ecept MOH), so this is really nice.
I would really like to have Bob and Fran in our wedding! It doesn’t feel right not to. But, I’m afraid that asking them now would look like we’re asking them as an afterthought. Fiance and I hang out with Bob and Fran all the time, and it feels so weird to be talking about the wedding when they’re not included in the wedding party.
So what do you think, would you ask Bob and Fran to be in the wedding now?
Post # 3
I would be honest! You’ll regret it if you don’t ever say anything. Invite them out for dinner/drinks and just tell them that you’ve valued getting to know them and consider them some of your closest friends! Let them know that you picked your bridal party when you were still new friends—but now that you’ve become so close, you can’t imagine your wedding party without them. As long as you make it clear that you didn’t ask because you’d just met, but that you really want them now that you’ve gotten to know them, I can’t see it being taken as a bad thing. I’d be really flattered if I were them 🙂
Post # 4
I agree with MsMonkey. And I’d like to add that if Bob and Fran are married, you could give her the title of Matron of Honor. She may like this, since she wants to be so involved in the wedding planning.
Post # 5
@MsMonkey: I totally agree.
Post # 6
This happened to me. I knew right off the bat who my 3 BMs would be and Fiance said yes, 3 bm and 3 gm…but I kept asking if he was sure because I knew who he’d ask and he’d have 4 NOT 3. He kept saying yes 3 of each. Then 6 months later when HE finally came around to asking his gms he realized he couldn’t pick between 2 of them (DUH!) so now he wants 4 on each side. I asked my friend to be the 4th bm, she had been involved in all the wedding planning up to that point so she was in the loop on everything. She was flattered and honored and didn’t seem to care that she was a “b-list” bm. She’s actually been the most helpful bm!!