(Closed) Should we allow an 8 week old baby at our wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we allow an 8 week old baby at our wedding? PLEASE read the post first

    Yes – it is the mother’s decision to bring her baby or not

    No – you are entitled to enforce the no-child policy

    Unsure – I can see where you’re coming from, but I can see her side too

  • Post # 31
    Member
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t see the issue. You don’t want the baby there, your SO supports you in not having the baby there (and is willing to say as much to his cousin). It sounds more than likely she won’t bring the baby, anyway. So what if she makes a fuss, she’ll just look like a demanding b*tch if she gives you trouble and more than likely your SO’s family will be on your side (since she treats them like crap as well). I say do what you want.

    Post # 32
    Member
    1225 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    One thing you don’t seem to be considering is your cousin. It’s his baby, too, and his postpartum wife. Especially if she isn’t breastfeeding this is about him as well. If they get upset with the baby not being invited or just don’t want to leave it, I would count on him not coming either. Is not accomodating her worth that to you?

    Post # 33
    Member
    321 posts
    Helper bee

    8 weeks is just too young to be at a formal event. end of story. If you have an 8 week old baby, you either get comfortable with leaving them for events, or you have to forego formal events until your baby is old enough to leave. It’s part of being a parent. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    185 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think by overthinking this issue at this early stage you’re setting yourself up for it to become a big deal.  If you are really trying to avoid anxiety and stress in the run up to and during your wedding then just let the whole thing go.  Send the invites (sans baby) and if she asks to bring the baby then say sure, infants are welcome.  As others said, if you dig your heels in, she likely will too if she’s as nasty as she sounds.  Don’t give it any more thought because it sounds like it’s just stressing you out.

    Post # 35
    Member
    2797 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    View original reply
    blushandsequins:  I voted before reading your post, which I apologize for! I voted that it’s the mother’s choice, but after reading your post, I think it would be ok to enfore your no-child policy. I brought my breastfed 9 week old baby to my brother’s wedding (it was totally fine with him and his fianceé) but my Mother-In-Law came to take care of the baby during the ceremony since I was a bridesmaid. She ended up just keeping my baby in a different part of the church because he was fussy, so I was so grateful to have her there! I think, given that she will not be breastfeeding and was comfortable leaving her first baby it is not too much to ask that she leave this one (as long as the baby is healthy and everything). Good luck!

    Post # 36
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee

    I don’t see why this is a huge deal. Neither you nor your Fiance seems to like her very much, so it doesn’t seem to be much of a loss to you if she declines. Invite her sans newborn and three-year-old and let her make her own decision. If she makes a fuss, just let her know that you’ll miss her at the wedding, but you unfortunately can’t make any exceptions to your child-free policy. If this were someone you really wanted at your wedding, it would be a much more difficult decision, but this seems pretty cut and dry to me.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1301 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    View original reply
    blushandsequins:  My sister in law had a baby who was about 8 weeks old at the time of my wedding. I left the choice to her. Now I didn’t have a completely child free wedding as my 2 year old niece was flower girl and I also told a friend she could being her 5 months old. My sister in law left the baby with her parents after.

    Post # 39
    Member
    744 posts
    Busy bee

    I really don’t understand why people worry so much about babies at weddings. They aren’t going anywhere at that age. Sure they might cry a bit but mostly they will just sleep. Either way, they have parents and it is their parents’ responsibility to care for them. Not mine. There will be two tiny infants (3 and 4 months) at my wedding. Im not worried about them in the slightest and, IMO, you shouldn’t be either. *shrugs*

    Post # 42
    Member
    5985 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    blushandsequins:  Then why are you worried about not inviting her. you don’t like her, don’t invite her.

    Post # 43
    Member
    719 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    View original reply
    blushandsequins:  An 8 week old baby (formula fed or not) is basically an extention of it’s mother. Don’t even mention the baby period or ask if she can leave it home or anything. Even if you did say something, anyone can walk in to a ceremony (unless you hire a bouncer anyone can walk in to a church/courthouse/walk by a gazebo etc) and there isn’t much you can do about it. On the same note, if a baby(even a toddler) doesn’t requie a chair and is sitting on it’s Mother’s lap…what are you going to do? Have a bouncer rough it up? lol, save yourself the headache and forget about it. You don’t wan’t to deal with that, if she decides on her own to leave the baby home then great, if not well I doubt you’d even notice the kid. Just breath, relax and remember anyone can walk in to a wedding ceremony, so at least you know the baby! 🙂

    Post # 44
    Member
    719 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    View original reply
    blushandsequins:  Even if she didn’t attempt to breastfeed the first and doesn’t plan to with this baby either, it is like you are punishing her for choosing to formula feed because you’ve already stated you’d be understanding if a guest was breastfeeding.

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