Post # 1
Fiance and I went out of our way for our bridal party because we love them! We bought and paid for EVERYTHING (minus the underwear). For FI’s guys, we bought each groomman their suit, shirt, tie, cuplinks, shoes and even matching socks for the wedding (we’re doing the same for my girls).
What got us a little upset is one of the groomsmen decided just now to get married a month before us and wants to use the suit we bought him for his wedding. I guess we bought them with the intention of them being used for OUR wedding first, so it makes us feel like we just got used. I guess there is a chance they’re not going through with it again (they have had 5 other attempts before this). We haven’t gotten an invitation yet.
Post # 3
@swtTea: I’d tell him no. You bought it for him to wear at YOUR wedding. Him wearing it for anything beforehand is a liability that he’ll ruin it. Even if he says he’ll cover the cost of dry cleaning, who’s to say he might not rip a whole in the butt dancing? Or put the jacket on a chair somewhere because he’s warm and loose it?
Post # 4
valid point but if he promises to dry clean it after the fact and or pay for any damages, why not?
It’s a suit, it’s not a hot pink dress that EVERYONE will know was worn before.
Post # 5
It’s his now so he can wear it whenever he wants to, but I find it strange… I think it definitely says something about his character, I can’t put my finger on what though. But if he were a friend of mine I would remember that he did this, and be careful he may do something to take advantage of my generosity in the future. But there’s nothing you can do about it now, and no reason to let it worry you too much.
Post # 6
On the one hand, it is his now, and it was a gift. Traditionally, you can’t dictate what a recipient is supposed to do with a gift after the fact. The idea of him wearing it someplace else first doesn’t bother me in principle.
On the other hand, considering he is only getting married a month before you guys, that doesn’t leave a lot of time to correct it if something gets ruined or lost. And if something happened and it couldn’t get fixed in time, I would be livid that we spent all that money on attire for our wedding party and one groomsman is the odd man out because he was irresponsible about it.
Post # 7
What!!! Absolutely not. Yes, it’s a gift to him…But it’s a gift for being in your wedding and he shouldn’t get to use it until after your wedding. What if he stains it or rips it! Since he’s a close friend I don’t think it’s worth getting into a dramatic argument over, but your fiance needs to find a way to politely tell him NO and to get some manners.
Post # 8
Sorry, that’s cheap and rude. Not only did he not have to worry about purchasing/renting for your wedding as a groomsman, but he’s using the suit you bought him FOR YOUR WEDDING to get out of buying/renting for his own? Who does that?
Post # 9
@swtTea: Eh, it may be inconsiderate. But you did buy him the suit. You did give it to him. He will wear it for your wedding.. but he wants to wear it for his as well. I don’t see the big deal, especially since it’s just a suit. Then again, I wore my Bridesmaid or Best Man dress to another wedding before my friend’s wedding. It was a black dress that doesn’t stand out in the first place. And I bought it with my own money, so I had every right (IMO) to wear it whenever I wanted as long as it’s in good shape for her wedding. Same goes for your Groomsmen.
Post # 10
Yeah, we’re trying to just let it go, but considering he already “lost” the cufflinks we got him (my Fiance bought them superheros emblems as cuplinks, his was superman)…so I really hope he doesn’t mess up his suit (FI might kill him). His characters is something I’ve yet to figure out too. I guess he’s always been “odd” we just never noticed until the last two incidents.
The first came when he came over to pick up his daughter (we babysit her sometimes when they have work). I had given his Fi some painkillers to help with a toothache she was having and while we looked after his Fiance, he went through our meds and took some vicodin. My sister is a pharmacist and she gets them for us in case we ever need them..so it doesn’t bother us that he took it, but that left us a bit weirded out that he went through our stuff..and who knows, what if there were side affects from taking them? I just thought it was weird seeing him rummaged through our medicine cabinet. I feel for Fiance as he is really close to him before and these incidents are red flags that has made Fiance questions their relationship.
Anyhow, we are learning our lesson and this gives us one more reason to buy the flower girl’s outfit after their wedding day (his daugther is one of our flower girl).
Post # 11
That is SO BIZARRE! I understand that it is a gift to him, but I agree that it is a gift to be used for your wedding, and he shouldn’t be wearing it until after that. I wonder what his future wife thinks about it (or was it her idea?!)!
Post # 12
I would think it were off.. but really nice that he actually asked first! I would prob ask him to not use the same shirt and stuff.. and ONLY the suit. That way.. if a glass of red wine is spilled on him.. actually.. if a glass of red wine is spilled on anything but a black suit it would be a bitch to get out. especially if not dry cleaned on the spot! Just ask that he not do it
Post # 13
it only a suit, i wouldnt get upset about it because give it a dryclean and it will be perfectly new again