(Closed) Should we buy a home before or after we get married? Advice please!

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: Should we buy a home before or after we get married? Also what's the better option to buy?
    Get married first, it's better financially : (40 votes)
    31 %
    Buy before you get married, it's okay to do so financially : (27 votes)
    21 %
    Rent for a year, then buy : (23 votes)
    18 %
    Houses are the better option right now : (26 votes)
    20 %
    Townhomes are the better option right now : (8 votes)
    6 %
    Condos are the better option right now : (5 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 4
    1784 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @MrsP0801:  We are renting and can purchase a home for less than what it costs us to rent currently. We have always wanted to be home owners so we decided to buy before marriage. We are getting married in June and closing in March (busy busy). In my area a townhouse can be as much or more than a free-standing home. It all comes down to need… we are a CFBC couple but just bought a beautiful 1,800+sq ft home becuase we entertain frequently. I am financing the home by myself but putting my fiance on the title after we marry.

    Post # 6
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    Of course, what I’m going to say certainly depends on your area, home prices, values, etc. My concern about townhomes and condos is always resale value (obviously, this advice would differ for someone who lives in, say, NYC – where houses are basically non-existent).


    I mean – a condo is basically an apartment you own. If anything goes wrong, it’s still your responsibility to fix it – not to mention your neighbors are still very close by. I did my time in apartment living, and I lived in the best one in the area. You still would not believe some of the people who passed in and out. And, at least in my area, condos tend to be much more expensive than houses – presumably because older people tend to go for them more (wanting ownership of their own place – but not having to do things like mow the lawn).

    Are you settled in your area? Do you see yourselves moving in the near future (next 5 years)? If that’s the case, I’d say definitely rent first. Do either of you live on your own, or…?

    My next statements also depend on the type of house you want. In my immediate area, it’s a great market for buyers (my 1500 sq. ft, 3 bedroom, 2 bath house was about $75k). The typical 3 bedroom, 1.5 – 2 bath house can go anywhere from $50k to $150k in my neck of the woods.

    We were living in an apartment with prices comparable to some townhouses around here…even with a 20 year mortgage and insurance, we’re paying slightly less than we were in rent every month.


    As for “married first” or not…


    We started looking when we were engaged, and only he was preapproved. After we got married, we could’ve added me into the whole process, but decided not to. We’re going to add me to the house deed later on. We just saw it as more hassle and potential trouble adding me and my finances to the mix in the middle of the whole thing.

    Basically, you just need to call your titling company and ask about the steps to take afterward to add you to the deed (and then, later on, to the mortgage). Usually, this is in the form of a quit claim deed or warranty deed (it’s called different things in different states).

    I’ve heard most people say it’s up to a few hundred dollars. We haven’t started the process yet, but need to.


    Post # 7
    12246 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Definitely buy after the wedding! People are desperate to move their homes before the “winter slump”, so you’ll have less competition and get a better deal!

    Post # 8
    2639 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    @MrsP0801:  even if you aren’t ready for kids,  I recommend a house.  It’s easier to sell later,  because most people looking at buying are also considering a family if they don’t have one already. 

    Post # 9
    1784 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @MrsP0801:  I think a combined income is a good thing as you can get financed for more than a single person. The only reason we didn’t go that route, although we wanted to, is because FH is a small business owner and that pretty much complicates anything and everything. Especially people giving us hundreds of thousands of dollars. 🙂

    Post # 10
    5659 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’m not sure which is better for your scenario, but not being married shouldn’t make any difference in approval, he’ll be the primary and you’ll be the secondary and they’ll consider both credit scores and both incomes/debts etc. The only thing is that the mortgage will be in your unmarried names, which honestly doesn’t even matter legally or tax wise.

    It’s really up to you and if you are ready to buy a home now or not. How is the market in your area? Is it quickly rising or is it kind of flat? If it’s quickly rising then buying now may be a good choice. Are you SURE you want to get into a town house/condo now just to turn around and feel like it’s too small in 2 years when you have kids? (depending on what you buy). Are you willing to spend the cash pre wedding, etc… Lot’s of personal factors to take into account.

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing it either way. We bought before we got married, right after we got engaged. I wanted to have my home so that when we registered we could register for things we actually wanted to fill it with. At the time we were living in DH”s 600 sq foot condo that was molding and we really needed to move out of it. One thing I will say as this seems to be a factor for some, is that after we got married people would ask (and still do over a year later) “omg how is married life!!” and i was like well… it’s good but mostly it’s the same… WE already lived together in a home we bought together, we already shared finances and a bank account, etc… So not a ton changed. If that matters to you then you want to buy and move in together close to, or after your wedding.

    Post # 11
    9134 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    If you want lower maintenance responsibilities then definitely look into townhouses and condos.  I hated spending weekends cutting grass and doing various other yard work when I owned a house.  I much preferred being able to come home to my townhouse and just enjoy being home.  However, they can have increased maintenance or HOA fees to cover maintenance and those additional fees may make it more expensive than a house.

    Post # 13
    1784 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @beachbride1216:  A lot of the time you can find a large home on a small lot. Ours has a small, but serviceable back yard. I’d estimate 10 minutes to mow with a walking mower. But yes, time commitment for household projects is a big consideration.

    Post # 14
    4495 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We bought a house about 1.5 years before we got married. It wasn’t our initial plan, but the market was amazing for buyers which meant we got a ridiculous deal on our house and a crazy low interest rate. We also found a home we LOVED and couldn’t pass it up. Our house is a forever-home not a starter house.

    We didn’t have any issues getting a loan or anything like that. We were lucky and got a home that didn’t need any work or surprises, but you might want to take that into consideration if you’re saving toward your wedding.

    Post # 15
    1812 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    The market is insane in a lot of areas this year, low supply/high demand driving bidding wars and the like. If I had to do it all over again I’d probably wait until it calms down; i.e we put an offer on a house before we even saw it just to have a SHOT of getting it, and still lost it to an all-cash offer that was like 25% above asking price.

    I wouldn’t recommend townhomes/condos (ever) because of potential neighbor/noise issues that you can’t just move away from like in an apartment. Plus HOA fees can be murder, blech.

    We waited to buy until we were married for the easier legalities, though it’s not unheard of to buy before.

    Post # 16
    9134 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @springbride23:  I live in Florida where most lots for houses are at least a 1/4-1/3 of an acre so there is always a yard to take care of.  Undecided

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