(Closed) Should we cancel the wedding? – sorry, sort of long

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow, I just have to say that your sister sounds incredibly selfish. You handled her much better than I would have.

With that said, if the wedding isn’t really something that’s important to you then why don’t you elope somewhere awesome? If you’re fine going to the courthouse then go for it, nothing wrong with that, but if I were in your situation, I would probably opt to elope in some incredible location. 

Post # 4
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

man, that sucks.  but, if you are ok with eloping, then I would just go somewhere amazing with your fi, and maybe some close friends if they can make the trip, and get married and enjoy a wonderful honeymoon. Sometimes, while I loved our wedding, i wish we would have been able to do that.

Post # 5
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Have you talked to your sister about this?  Is she totally oblivious to what she’s done to your plans?  Does she care?

At this point, if my family couldn’t come to my wedding (as you’ve stated) I’d ditch the current plans and plan something wonderfully special and memorable that my FH and I would remember and cherish like maybe eloping some place FANTASTIC, or marry in the courthouse or at the beach or something with just local family and friends in attendence and then go on an AWESOME honeymoon that we can now afford because we’re not spending all that money on the wedding.  

Post # 6
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I just woke up, so please forgive me if I just missed you including this info, but what about your SO’s family?  Will they not be there? If so, would they be invited to the courthouse?  I realize that your family won’t be able to make it, but it could still be a good time with his fam.

Alternatively, and you might really hate this idea, but I’m just throwing it out there, is there any way to reschedule your wedding for the same weekend as hers?  That way, people would only have to travel once and be able to attend both!  Like, yours on the Friday and hers on the Saturday or whatever?  People might get a bit burnt out by the end of the weekend, but it could be fun?

I hope everything works out for you!

Post # 7
7586 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Double wedding!

Post # 8
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow! Your whole predicament sounds terrible, and my heart totally goes out to you. I cannot believe your sister did that to you! And you’ve handled that with such a grace many of us would not be able to display in a similar situation. 

I would definitely say that since the big wedding isn’t that important to you and your reasons for throwing it no longer seem valid, then yes, definitely do something small and intimate. Is there any way for your family to be there? I mean, now that you’re not going to be spending so much money on the wedding you originally planned, can you fly to where your families are and get married there? Just a thought. And I agree with CaitMarae: you don’t have to go to the JOP (unless that’s what you want). You can definitely go somewhere really amazing and hire incredible photographers/videographers to capture your wedding. That’s why we cut our wedding budgets anyway: so we can afford to splurge on those big ticket items!

Best of luck to you and your FI!

Post # 11
45 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

What about eloping somewhere fabulous and then having a party in your hometown either when you get back (with just FH family) or on your 1 year anniversary and hopefully your family can attend!  I understand how disappointing it can be, most of FH’s family can’t come to our wedding for a variety of reasons.

Post # 12
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Since you want to include his family, what about planning a wedding close to where they are or even go the destination wedding route ans go somewhere tropical? While DW’s can be just as expensive as traditional weddings, if you want to do something simple with a handful of family that are able to make it, I’m sure that could be very affordable. Then you still get to have an awesome wedding but also an incredible trip. 

Good luck with whatever you decide!

Post # 13
165 posts
Blushing bee

What a difficult situation. You have shown such grace, maturity, and dignity considering the circumstances.

My daughter recently got married and although we did not have your situation, she had many family members from our side and her husband’s side who could not or would not attend the wedding.

Her new in-laws live in South America and could not get their visas to attend the wedding. We had many family members in Pennsylvania who said because the wedding was in Florida (where they live) they would not make the trip.

My daughter and son-in-law still had the wedding as planned. There was nothing we could do about the visa issue and we couldn’t force people to attend the wedding. We invited almost 90 people and 55 attended.

The wedding was beautiful and everyone had a great time. The people who chose not to come were the ones who missed out on a wonderful day.

Please think twice about cancelling your wedding. Consider your fiance’s family. If they are planning on attending, do not deprive them of seeing you get married and celebrating with you. Consider their feelings. How would they feel if you cancelled the wedding because your family isn’t coming? Would you do the same if your fiance’s family wasn’t coming? You do not want to look back at your wedding day years later and regret your decision.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Post # 14
82 posts
Worker bee

You deserve something special, and without, you will later regret and possibly hold this against your sister. I’d say go totally opposite her so that it’s “your” wedding story ! 🙂 I’d tt the people who matter the most to you and Fiance, ask them if they can afford a Destination Wedding and go for it. This way you have your own bragging to do that is in no comparison 🙂 Good luck with everything !! 🙂 

Post # 15
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Have you talked to your sister about changing her date? Maybe she hasn’t realized what she’s done. You should sit her down and explain everything and ask her to move her wedding. She might go for it, you never know.

Post # 16
23591 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sighs!  I feel your pain, girl.  As an older sister, I could see myself in your shoes (thank god my sister is quite a bit younger) – asking her to move the wedding probably isn’t even an option anymore.  But I agree that maybe you should talk to her about this.  Sometimes wedding planning will cloud a girl’s ability to think about the people closest to her – maybe if you just sit her down, you two can work out a solution together?

The topic ‘Should we cancel the wedding? – sorry, sort of long’ is closed to new replies.

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