Post # 1
So my wonderful FH and I have set a tentative date of July 10, 2010. The reasons:
– He is a school teacher and doesn’t get out until June 10. I will be graduating college May 15. Up until then, it will be long distance planning (and a long distance relationship!) This gives us plenty of planning time together in our wedding city.
– We are not officially engaged yet, as in we haven’t told anyone but family and good friends that we are planning a wedding, so that when we get the Engagement Ring it will still have that element of surprise. Therefore, we are trying to pace the planning a bit. July gives us roughly 14 months at this point.
– A big reason: We originally wanted late-ish June, but his best friend and his longtime fiancee had set a date for June 18. We decided to not compete with their wedding by having them in the same month, which has been in the works for much longer than ours.
BUT. The best friend & his fiancee have broken off their engagement. The first thing FH’s BFF told him was, "You & Danielle can have whatever date you want now." Of course, I would LOVE to move it up to June, because one of my biggest concerns about July: THE HEAT. An outdoor wedding in June could very well be hot, too, but in TN, the humidity really sets in in July. Still, July would give us about an extra month of planning time, not to mention if they get back together (which seems extremely unlikely at this point but you never know) I will feel sorta bad for swooping in on their time frame. But June is really what we originally wanted.
What do you lovely Bees think?
Post # 3
Well let’s hope that they DO indeed get back together..crossing my fingers. I hate to see that happen.
Maybe approach his bff saying something like "We’re so sorry about that …we really hope you two can work it out..it that a possibility?" If that is indeed a possibility, then I’d go for the July wedding. If he says "No way in hades" or something like that and say a major deal-breaker happened where they’ll never reconcile, I’d do June.
Post # 4
I say, if June is what you originally had wanted, then I would go for it. Especially since you haven’t announced any dates just yet!! Even though you will lose a month, I don’t think that will hurt you as you will be 13 months out! I say that things are starting to fall into place for you, especially since the month you wanted was not available, but is now, I would say that is a good sign for you!!! I wouldn’t worry about swooping into your FH’s friends time frame, they swooped out, so it is yours to take!! Good luck!!
Post # 5
If June is what you wanted, then go for June. If you’re feeling a little awkward about it, then don’t pick June 18th. But I don’t see why any other day in June would be an issue.
Post # 6
June. The biggest reason not to do it is now gone, and if your friends get back together, they really, really should not rush into getting married on the same day.
You are in one of those positions where a coordinator is not just a luxury, it could be a lifesaver. The kind of things that you need to do in the next 6-8 months anyways (book vendors and locations) are the areas that will not be impacted by having one less month. And if you have help in these areas, you could spend more time on fun DIY projects and style things.
Really, look into a less than full service coordination package. You will probably need someone who can give you a tour of locations, and then later a vendor day (where all the vendors are booked for a preview and brought to you).
This really wasn’t your question, but if you are worried about planning, do this!
Post # 7
I think if they broke it off, June is fair game. It sounds like Fh friend understood, (and hopefully appreciated that you bowed out of June out of respect for them.) Now that they’ve cancelled, you should be free to do what you want. If they do get back together, I think they should understand that people aren’t expected to put their plans on hold for them, for what was…now isn’t…but might be at some point in the future.
Besides, it looks like your Fh friend gave you the green light.
Post # 8
No one can "claim" a month in my opinion, my FI’s best friend went on his first date with a girl on our anniversary… that was a year ago. They hit it off and now we have the same anniversary, until we get married. It’s actually kind of convenient. We never get asked to do something with them on that day, so we don’t have to worry about friends planning things on our anniversary. hehe
However, they did plan their wedding the day before FI’s birthday, which is a smidge annoying because Fiance and his friend are best friends.. really close. So now birthday parties and their anniversary will conflict for the rest of our lives, but hey, what are you gonna do? 🙂
They’re not engaged anymore, any date is open to you. You can’t plan your wedding around IF someone is gonna get back together or not. Also, if I were you I wouldn’t book any vendors until I had a ring and it was official! 🙂 It’s more fun that way.
Post # 9
All signs point to June! You have plenty of time.
Post # 10
Thanks for reassuring me! I think we are going ahead with June. We haven’t completely decided if we are going to do June 19th or 26th yet, but its looking like the 19th. We will be flexible with what is open as far as vendors go.
As far as the BFF’s relationship goes – it was very unhealthy and we are all relieved that they aren’t going through with it, honestly. It’s not a situation in which anyone would hope they would get back together.
LLauRR: I always said I wouldn’t plan my wedding before an Engagement Ring, but the economy is putting a crunch on us, so it makes sense to wait for the ring & official proposal a while. But if I wait to plan until I get the ring, I might be working on a 6 month time frame! June is a very popular month and I’d hate for my favorite vendors to be booked up. So onward I go! 🙂
Post # 11
Danielle, I’d definitely go with June! It will be your wedding, so should be what you envision. I’m partial to the 26th (our wedding date), but that might still be too humid for TN!
Btw, congrats on graduating from Mizzou (next year)! I love Columbia & my grandfather was a professor at the J School for years & years.