(Closed) Should we elope…

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Whittling down the guest list to only your closest family and friends is tricky.  I am having a wedding with just 20 family members and then having a larger reception a week later that is more casual and party atmosphere like, where I think I will feel more comfortable being surrounded by acquaintences because we already had our private wedding ceremony.  You could always have a destination wedding somewhere and get married at a Catholic church – and this way only your closest friends and family will travel for the wedding.  Either way, you should invite only the people you want to invite and have the event that you want.  Elope if you want to.  But don’t elope if you are just trying to avoid whittling down the guest list.  Are there friends and family who would support your decision to have a more intimate wedding?  Maybe enlisting their help would help give you the support you need to make the hard decision to shrink the guest list.

Post # 5
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Leave them off, then send them a wedding announcement once you’re married to show them that you still had them in your mind.  We are having a very small Destination Wedding with only 20 guests, but will be sending announcements to about 70 others that we care about and couldn’t invite!

Post # 7
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

It’s really to let the people who weren’t invited know that you got married and what your new name/address is.  It shouldn’t be seen as fishing for gifts as long as you’re not sending them with that intention.  The people receiving them don’t have to get you anything they don’t want to.  They can just send you their well wishes!  Afterall it’s not like they were invited to the actual wedding.  But it’s a nice gesture to let people know that you were still thinking of them and cared enough to let them know that you’re now married.

We’re sending announcements but within it an invitation to an at home reception we’re having after our wedding.  That way, all of our family and friends that weren’t invited to the wedding can come and see us in our bridal attire and celebrate our new marriage.  It’s much more informal and much easier to plan! So our announcement is acting as both an wedding announcement and an invite!  But I’ve seen wedding announcements that do just that, announce that you’re married!  I’ve never felt the obligation to purchase the new couple a gift.

Word got around to our family and friends that we were having a destination wedding allowing only 20 guests and so they all knew they weren’t getting an invite.  So word of mouth let everyone know that they weren’t invited but we also let everyone know we were having the home reception which I think they all really appreciate!

Post # 8
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

ELOPE, DO IT! I am seriously wishing we would’ve done that. You will save yourself SO much money and stress. Sure, weddings are fun, but at the end of the day it’s about the marriage not how elaborate your wedding was. I say take your closest friends and family, and go somewhere beautiful and tropical.. have a simple ceremony on the beach and forget everything else. You could always send announcements afterwards for those co-workers and friends of your parents. I still want to elope and it’s only 25 days ’til the wedding.. ha.

Post # 9
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Have the wedding with just your close family if that is what you want.  If you feel obligated to invite the other people, just throw a casual party afterwards.  That is what we are doing for all the people who are invitation fishing.  We’ll buy some wine for maybe a couple hundred dollars tops and tell everyone no gifts but bring a dish to pass.  Some of my neighbors had a 25th anniversary party exactly that way just recently (they provided cake and a band, period).  The party kicked butt.

Post # 10
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Do it! I’ve been thinking that a lot lately. I love Fiance and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him, but weddings = money and drama. Unnecessary. But I’m not the girl who dreamed about my wedding when I was little, so take that into account.

Why not have something small with just close family and friends then have something bigger & more casual afterward like a BBQ or something low-key. You can indicate on the invites that guests need not bring gifts. A college friend had a Destination Wedding in St. Thomas a few years back & her invite read “Your presence is our present”. I thought it was classy & cool.

The topic ‘Should we elope…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors