Post # 1
We hired a nanny last week and today was the first day we left her home alone with our 8 month old. I see on our doorbell camera that she has a boyfriend at our house. She never asked. He was there an hour. My husband asked her about it and he said she almost started to cry and apologized. She said he comes by the other persons house she nanny’s for so didn’t think it was a big deal and she realized she should have asked. She then sent us a text later with a large msg apologizing. There were some other issues with her as well. She didn’t seem to be able to manage his feeding schedules very well. Saw her carrying him by his arms and was putting on tv and on her phone a lot. Other then that she was fine. She is nice and a good communicator and I don’t think she would intentionally do anything to harm our baby but I think she is a little dumb and immature. She is a 21 year old college student. We only need someone for the summer. My husband thinks we should give her another chance since she apologized and it is hard to find a nanny. I think we should fire her but now conflicted being my husband doesn’t want to. What do you guys think ?
Post # 2
Are you able to find someone else?
If not, I would give her another try and lay out the rules. No guests, schedule, etc. and keep an eye on things to see how she follows your rules.
Post # 3
lilceeja124 : Just the fact that she let someone in your house without your authorization is cause for dismissal. Add to this everything else you mentioned, and I really don’t see any reason to give her the courtesy of a second chance.
Post # 4
If I caught my dog sitter doing this I’d be pissed… I can’t imagine if it were my child. Fool me once shame one you, fool me twice shame on me.
Follow your gut bee.
Post # 5
Carrying him by his arms?? If you can find someone else do it asap.
Post # 6
Bee!! She can’t manage his feeding schedule, carries the baby incorrectly and spends time on phone/TV a lot PLUS had someone over?! Just let her go. No second chance. Your baby is not her priority and she has proven that many ways. You pay her to watch the baby – dismiss her.
Post # 7
My first question is, were you absolutely clear with her regarding written expectations, house rules, etc? If not, then I would write up a contract this weekend and review it with her and have her sign it and clearly state that breaking any of the house rules is cause for termination. Your baby, your rules. This is of course only if you are hesitating about firing her.
If you specifically told her she is not to use the tv or her phone in your child’s presence and she disobeyed your wishes on Day 1, she needs to go. I think she needs to go anyways. Rarely do 21 year olds make great nannies. And while you might be right that she wouldn’t intentionally harm your baby, it doesn’t take much “unintentional” neglect for a baby to drown, fall down the stairs or off a changing table, etc.
Are there other options in your area for childcare? Nanny share with a friend? In-home?
Post # 8
dgirl715 : I am not the most direct person but I did say only tv when you are eating or need to distract him. She then put it on randomly after that so I clarified but who knows what she’s doing when I am not home. I did not make rules about visitors but figured that would be implied. Yes I have found that a college student probably is not the best nanny haha. It is a difficult process to find nannies around here. Good ones are snatched right away but I do have my mom to help in the meantime.
Post # 9
lilceeja124 : If you have your mom to help until you can find other help it seems an easy choice to not continue with someone who invites strangers into your home with your child and without your permission, uses a TV to occupy him, is frequently on her phone, doesn’t carry him properly and can’t manage his schedule. No-brainer.
Post # 10
lilceeja124 : I’ve heard horror stories of parents accidentally dislocating joints, she is definitely putting your baby at risk by carrying him by his arms. She is not paying attention, she is immature, and she is having a stranger in your house. A thousand times no. This sounds like a news story waiting to happen.
Post # 11
She carried the baby by the arms? That’s grounds for dismissal. I’d be apoplectic over that, as it is abuse.
Post # 12
The moment I discovered a random man in my house without permission from me (on her first day no less) I would have left work immediately and fired her ass on the spot. No friggin way would I play games with that bullshit. Who is this person? Why was he in your home near your baby? Is he a pedophile? A thief? You have no idea yet this woman let him waltz into your baby’s safe space. Unacceptable. Totally unacceptable.
Post # 13
lilceeja124 : she let an unknown person into your house around your child and you would never have known if you did not have the camera surveillance. You know nothing about this boyfriend. He could be a paedophile or jacked up on ice for or all you know!!!
That along with holding a child incorrectly would be an instant dismissal from me personally because I could not trust a person with that poor of a judgement to be responsible for the wellbeing of my child.
Post # 14
lilceeja124 : Someone on her first day of the job is going to be on her best behavior. Letting a stranger into your home is her best behavior. Not adhering to the feeding schedule is her best behavior. Carrying your child by the arms is her best behavior.
Even with a well experienced, fine tempered professional one mistake is all it takes to end up changing the life of your child. And she is not that.
No, I would not give her another chance.
Post # 15
I’m questioning your husbands judgement for wanting to give her another chance. Holy shit this should not even be questioned!