(Closed) Should we go to therapy?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

You don’t have to tell him they’re a “problem.” You can get the same idea across by saying that you feel they’re getting too involved in how you two want to live your lives, and that it’s starting to affect your relationship because he seems to act differently around them than he does with you, and you’re starting to get frustrated with it. Give yourself time to think about what you want to say before you say it (which I know is easier said than done) and you should be fine.

Post # 3
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

I think therapy can provide an excellent framework to have difficult conversations. I’m speaking with a therapist right now to guide me on some matters with my immediate family, and it has been invaluable to me to express what I need to, while not pressing buttons or raising tempers more than needed.

It will be less about telling him that his parents are a problem, and more about how X, Y, and Z make you feel. And the counselor will give your FH the same opportunity, and then guide you in conversations about coming up with a resolution. You may have one-on-one sessions, you may not.

Post # 5
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

cmm067:  Ah, got it. I think that’s partly the therapist’s job. As somethingbee up there mentioned, all you really need to do is explain how this is all affecting you and how you feel about it, and let the therapist guide the conversation from there. Hopefully your fiance will start to understand your concerns a bit better and come to realize that things need to change. Good luck!

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