(Closed) Should we introduce ourselves to them instead?

posted 4 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

As rude as this sounds, I tend to avoid my neighbours and always have.

My sister isn’t friendly with her most of neighbours (they don’t like her and her husband) but generally is friendly enough with the neighbours that have dogs (she likes dogs).

My mother is friendly with ner neighbours but one is very nosy/talkative and she didn’t really talk to other one for the first couple of years. 

Maybe they are just not vvery social. Do you see them talking to eachother? Or maybe your house is haunted. 🙂
 

Post # 4
Member
10368 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hmmm are you possibly moving into a gentrifying neighborhood? We got that a lot when we moved to South Berkeley, but we were the high-earning white couple moving into a rapidly gentrifying formerly lower income minority area.

Post # 5
Member
9240 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

We introduced ourselves to our new neighbors when we bought our house.

I think in this day and age, the whole “neighbors bringing over muffins to introduce themselves” thing doesn’t really happen any more – unfortunately!

Post # 6
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@lolot:  Amazingly enough, when we moved in to our house, one neighbor brought us a fruit tart and another loaned us power tools.  A few others stopped to stay hi while taking their dogs for walks.  We definitely have a friendly/cordial relationship with everyone, though I wouldn’t say we’re “friends” or anything.  It is nice to have someone who can feed your dog in a pinch or loan you a chainsaw though, so I’m happy we’re all friendly.

Post # 7
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We live in a brand new sub division, so it was almost like the first day of school – we were all “new” so we all kind of introduced ourselves to eachother and now we know everyone in the 8-10 surrounding houses to us. We also have really great neighbors who are very friendly (we’ve even exchanged cell phone numbers with some in case there’s ever an issue at one of our houses).

There are a few who totally keep to themselves and we’ve stopped socializing much with since we moved in. I imagine it’s just harder because you’re the only new people. They probably won’t be coming over to introduce themselves. Are you ever out doing yard work at the same time as them? Maybe you could strike up a conversation at that time rather than making a point of actually going over to ring the bell and say hi.

Post # 8
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I have never introduced myself to neighbors and have only rarely had neighbors introduce themselves to me.  I think it’s a “where-you-live” kind of thing? 

Post # 9
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

I would just go introduce yourself quickly and get it over with – it’s just going to get more awkward if you never get around to doing it!  We are lucky enough to have great neighbors on both sides, but even if yours never become very social, at least you won’t be worrying about “should I say something?” anymore.

Post # 10
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think if you want to meet the neighbors you should just walk over while they’re outside and say hello.  Frankly I wouldn’t think to go over to a new neighbor and just start chatting them up–but I also am from big town and have been living in big cities since I was 18.  It’s that I just feel like it would be weird and awkward….I’d probably only even consider it if we looked to be about the same age AND I happened to catch them outside not looking busy while I was outside and not busy.  But if a neighbor walked up to me and started a conversation I’d be more than happy to talk!

Post # 11
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @NurseMandie:  I did a reply for this about a Month ago for another Bee, I will cut & paste it here (for your convenience)

== snip ==

Etiquette Snob here…

The established process is for those who already live in the Neighbourhood to  WELCOME the Newcomers and take the first step in regards to social  invites…

BUT sometimes timing is such, that the Newcomers have been out and about  taking care of business getting settled so they’ve “run into” the long time  residents already

In which case friendly conversation can open the door to social invites on  either side “We should get together for coffee”

The standard fare, however is whomever makes the first deliberate move… it  is considerate to come not empty handed (more so if you are the long established  resident)… a Bouquet of Flowers, Plate of Cookies or Small Welcome Gift are  all usually well received.

Because moving in and getting settled can take awhile (days to weeks) it is  best when making the gesture that one is aware of time and inconveniencing the  newcomer.

“I’d love to get together when you have more time… as a I am sure you are  busy… but I wanted you to know how pleased we are to have you in the  neighbourhood… and wanted to give you my name & number incase you needed  any help or questions”. 

Unless the newbie says this is a good time and insists you stay a spell… it  is best to set up a time for coffee in the future.

If the meeting isn’t formal… and just casual (on the street)… then it is  appropriate to introduce yourself as “Hi, I am Sue Jones… and I live in the  green house across the street”

The newbie usually responds with an equally friendly greeting… and can  also invite the passerby in for a cup of coffee / cold drink if the timing is  convenient. 

Initial meet ups, usually only last 10 or 15 minutes (long enough to enjoy  the coffee / cold drink).  If the neighbours click… then future meet ups  can be planned… “stop by for coffee on ___ (specific date and time)”… OR  “you should join us gals for our after dinner walk around the neighbourhood on  Tuesday Nights” etc

And so it begins… if a friendship is formed, then social invites will  naturally go back and forth…

== end ==

You can find the rest of the topic / discussion here

 http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/moving-in-how-did-you-introduce-yourself-to-the-neighbors#ixzz2U4fhRGWG

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 13
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wish that was our problem!! Our neighbor is over the second we pull in the driveway, seriously every time! Today our garage door was open and he just walked right into the kitchen! Scared me half to death. He’s an older man who lives alone and I know he gets bored, but stop coming in my house! lol But I met our other neighbor and they’re nice with two kids, but haven’t met the rest. 

Post # 14
Member
4047 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@NurseMandie:  If you want to meet them, go and introduce yourself. It may be that its just not the kind of neighborhood where the neighbors are terribly social.

 

I live in my house for 6 months before any of the neighbors introduced themselves. it has been a few years, and of the 6 or so house near mine I have met just three neighbors. 

 

I haven’t made more of an effort, honestly, as I have enough social obligations at work/family/friends and don’t need any others.

 

Post # 15
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’ve never talked to any of my neighbors, and we are all american. It’s not a cultural thing to do it or not.

Post # 16
Member
8997 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’ve never attempted to talk to my neighbors.

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