(Closed) Should we invite FI’s family to the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should FI's fam be invited?
    HELL no! they are jerks and you don't want to risk them causing drama : (8 votes)
    40 %
    YES, be the bigger person this might actually help the situation : (9 votes)
    45 %
    Yes, but run the risk of them being offended both ways : (3 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    283 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    If you have gone so far as to change your names in order to separate yourself from the family, I cannot see any good coming from sending them invitations.

    It’s one thing if your FH wants to maintain relationships with them, but it seems as though that bridge has already been burned.

    I’d err on the side of caution and just let it be.

    Post # 5
    Member
    283 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @MrsNeutrino: lol WOW. I’m sorry, I misread “numbers” as “names”.

    That makes it much less black and white, lol.

    However, since you feel that you would regret it if they weren’t there, AND your fh wants to maintain relationships with them, then I would go ahead and invite them. Then even if they don’t show, you will know you did your part.

    Post # 6
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @MrsNeutrino: I would still send an invite. There are members of my family that I would really not like to come, because of recent events, but I still would hate if in 10 years and we’re close again, that they werent’ there….

    Plus, it sort of puts the ball back in their court, and makes you the bigger person, IMO.

    Post # 7
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    how does Fiance feel about it?   does he want to invite them?

    Post # 11
    Member
    592 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would probably send an invite just so that they have nothing more to hold against you. Then you will always be able to say that you graciously invited them and they refused to come. Who looks like the jerk then? They do.

    Post # 12
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would invite them.  I think you’ll regret not inviting them later and it will just cause an even bigger gap between you and his family.  Be the bigger person and send an invite.

    Post # 13
    Member
    851 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Have your Fiance call his father or brother and let them know that you will be sending them an invite.  If it’s a small wedding and they come, you should probably try and reconcile any problems before your big day.  I had serious Future Mother-In-Law issues and thankfully we got over it and she is now helping and supporting the planning (so it can happen!)

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