Should we move to Connecticut? + Asking to work remotely

posted 1 year ago in Career
Post # 2
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well unfortunately I’m not gonna be the cheerleader you’re looking for when it comes to living in CT lol. I grew up in the southeast and moved to CT for a job when I was right out of college – was there for 5 years. I hated living there – the climate is shit (what bothered me most wasn’t the snow storms in January, it was the fact that you still routinely have 40-degree days in MAY!), people tend to be cold and standoffish compared to southerners (this is a generalization obviously), traffic is heinous…I could go on lol. I mean it wasn’t all bad – I had some great times living there and like any place, it really is what you make of it, but all things being equal I’d never choose to live in that part of the country again if I could avoid it!

I guess for me this decision would come down to whether it’s a worthwhile career move for your husband and also whether you can work remotely. Financially, you’d be operating at a loss you said, so that’s not advantageous. But if it’s a step up in his career that could open the door to more promotions, then it’s certainly worth considering. As much as I dislike CT, I don’t hate it so much that I wouldn’t move there again if it was truly worthwhile for my or dh’s career. If you’re really serious about this and your husband really wants to pursue it, then you need to talk to your boss and ask about the posisbility of working remotely. If they say no…what would you do then? Would you still be ok moving there knowing you’ll be unemployed until you can find a new job?

Also, take what I said about CT with a grain of salt – that is just my personal opinion and I know plenty of people who love CT. But since you’d be moving there from a southern climate like I was, I thought I’d share my 2 cents lol. Also, for what it’s worth, I now live in an even colder place (in the midwest), but I actually like it because the people here are so friendy, normal, and down to earth…not at all my experience in CT!

Post # 3
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

1) Connecticut is less expensive than Massachusetts, where I live, but is still up there. Don’t forget to include HEATING costs. Just like running the AC in FL most of the year, so is the heat. Many homest up here use oil heat. Oil heat can be very expensive but nothing compared to Electric especially if the home is older or not properly insulated. Many people supplement with wood burning stoves and/or pellet stoves. That is to SUPPLEMENT as it by no means a replacement for a good oil heating system. Set up a budget if you can over the summer and then you will be billed more frequently but it will help keep costs down and they typically include a maintenance program for your burnder. Gas heat is the most cost effective heating method. Get a snow blower. It doesn’t matter how big or small your driveway is if you are buying. Get one. You will need it and if you don’t have it, you will be mad you don’t. You can buy them second hand or over the summer cheaper than if you buy at ‘peak season’. You could also hire a snow remover/plower. Good ones can be tough to find but are worth every penny (I do this for my two family and we own a snow blower at our house). Always keep a shovel and a bag of kitty litter in your trunk. 

2) As far as asking to work remotely…my gut is saying to be transparent with your current employer but also..ambiguous. Be vague about timelines because they might think you are planning to quit and might look for someone to replace you which wouldn’t meet your needs. I would just ask questions like ‘hey husband is thinking about accepting this job in CT what are the opportunities for me as far as working remotely?’ if they ask when, just be vague. And see if you can vet some information that way. You don’t want to burn the bridge while you’re still standing on it. 

I hope this helps. I don’t live in CT but I have a couple of friends who grew up there and one who owns a home there and it is VASTLY cheaper than Mass. So that’s one good thing on your side. 

Post # 4
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

I always love talking about my home state – CT. I have lived all over the eastern side of the state, and I can tell you a few things: 

  • Yes, winter sucks. Prepare, and you will be fine. Also, white Christmases rule.
  • Summer sucks too, prepare for that as well. We’re on our fourth week straight of 90+ days. But, we have some pretty awesome beaches and coastal towns, so it’s not so bad.
  • You really do get 4 seasons, and it’s true that you can sometimes get them all in the same week. 😉 
  • Different parts of the state, even different towns, are DRASTICALLY different. I live in a very rural small town, which has more farms than I can count. The next town over is one of the largest cities in the state. Where you choose to put down roots makes a huge difference. 
  • Yes, New Englanders are deemed standoffish by the general populous, but I have not found us to be any different than other cultures in the many, worldwide travels I have been on. 
  • That being said, we are in a GREAT position to travel some of the most well-known destinations in the country. Cape Cod, NYC, Boston, Newport…all 2 hours drive (or less) from me. And, you’re situated between two huge airports (Logan and Bradley), giving you even more travel options. 
  • Taxes are a bit higher, but so is the pay, as you have seen if you’ve done a COL analysis.

 ETA: Of course, where you are is much less important than who you’re with. 

Post # 8
62 posts
Worker bee

I’m born and raised in CT, still living here, and ironically just started a thread the other day because i’m looking SO badly get OUT of here lol. It’s VERY expensive, COL and taxes are insane and only keep increasing. I don’t care for the weather, the people aren’t overly great, the traffic is horrendous, and I just don’t see what I’m paying so much FOR. Can I ask which area of CT? Certain parts are more affordable than others

Post # 11
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are also thinking about movibg to CT! We are ready to buy a new place and it just seems like we would get more for the $ than we would get buying here in NY, not to mention that although taxes are high they are slightly less than NYC taxes.

misstomorris :  Do you have any recomendations for the best places to live there that are closer to nyc for commution? All imputs welcome!


harmonicsoul :  Apologies for hijacking your post.

Post # 13
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Hi bee!

I moved from Florida to Philly. Not quite CT, but I did enjoy my time there (once I adjusted to the weather :))

As far as your job, I’d definitely ask early and frame it in a way where they know you’re invested. Something like “My husband is considering accepting a job in CT. I’m obviously new to this role, but I have been picking it up quickly and love working for you and this company. Before making any decisions about my husband’s job, I want to make sure I know what remote options I would have if we moved. What options does the company have?”

Ask it in an open-ended way so your boss (1) feels like he can work with you and has incentive to find a solution and (2) can’t just say yes/no.

Hope that helps!

Post # 14
911 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

dt2413 :   harmonicsoul : Well, I’ve only lived on the Eastern side of CT, particularly because the Western side is a much more affluent area. Farmington is pretty much the middle of the state, so I would say to look more into houses on the eastern side of the state, even if slightly. I highly suggest the towns of Colchester, East Hampton, Lebanon, Andover, Columbia, and East Haddam. That would be a roughly 30-35 minute commute for the hubby, but in my opinion, the scenery/people/towns are much more pleasurable. Farmington is very close to the capital, Hartford, which is a big city, and comes with all the hassles of that. .

ETA: It’s funny bc I’m trying to convince Fiance to move us to upstate NY to be closer to his family. I love our home, our town and our state, but I desperately want our future children to have family closeby. That being said, I will want to work remotely when the time comes, so I’m following your post on the other side of the equation. 🙂

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