(Closed) should we register for gifts?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

We are an older couple too. We have decided that if we do register, it will be a honeymoon registry. We already have pretty much everything we need.

If your partner wants to register, maybe just register for a few small things.

We aren’t having a destination wedding, but if wer were, I would think that the guests spending the money to go to the destination would be gift enough. I wouldn’t want them to add a gift to that. If your guests are going to give you an additional gift, it will probably be monetary.

Post # 5
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you don’t register, then guests will buy you things that you don’t want and can’t return. Guests do want to buy you something but they aren’t mindreaders. Surely there is something you want to replace or update. Also, you don’t have to register for strictly household items. You can register for anything you want like entertainment or stuff related to hobbies. However, registering for honeymoons and cash is considered rude.

Post # 6
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

You are very welcome.

@Selena: I think it depends on the type of guests that you are inviting as to what type of registry would be appropriate. We are having 99% family, so for us a honeymoon registry would not be out of line.

Post # 9
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would totally still buy a gift off of the registry for you. I personally love to buy gifts. I love registries. I love buying things off of registries. I’m just one of those people.

So, I recommend registering for some things, and not worrying about it. It is just to help people out, and someone will appreciate it.

Post # 10
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We’re an older couple & have lived together for 9 years, but have made due with left over household stuff (we have only one set of dishes with four settings…couldn’t even serve both sets of parents when they came for Thanksgiving & had to wash our mix n’ match silverware for the dessert course!). So we’re DEFINITELY registering. Our wedding is destination for 80% of our guests, but we’re also splurging on them (Disneyland tix are the favor for each guest), so I figure registering is still okay.

Guests don’t HAVE to buy you a gift.  In fact, YOU are not supposed to “inform” them of your registry (on invites or Save-The-Date Cards or anything formal)…that’s rude.  However, if they ask, you can direct them to it.  Having a registry gives them the option of buying you something you want, not telling them you expect something.  If they feel like giving you something, they can.  If not, they don’t have to.  Register…it will be fun & it’s helpful to those guests that DO want to give.

Post # 12
Member
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

I think that sounds like a good compromise, a small Target registry. You may get more gifts than you think!

Post # 13
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We’re in the same boat, only FI’s grandparents also gifted him a full set of china/crystal/silverware as well- before we were engaged. We registered for fun stuff, and upgrades since we have the basics. We don’t expect anything as we’re having a semi-DW.

But I would say register because someone ultimately is going to want to buy you something… and it’d be better if they have a list to look from :o)

Post # 14
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I thought the same thing, but we did register. We registered at Crate & Barrel & at Williams-Sonoma. We did not register for a ton of stuff. Only like 20 items at C&B and maybe 10 at WS, but they were specialty kitchen/cooking items and everyone knows we like to cook. In My Humble Opinion, it does no harm to register. You defintely do not want people buying you gifts when they don’t know what you want because that presents a whole other etiquette conundrum!

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