(Closed) Should we reschedule our wedding for a 21st birthday the following day?

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
4298 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Edited because it’s actually your Fiance who has a bigger problem with this????? Um, what the heck? If the brother is fine with it, then you absolutely put your foot down and end the discussion. It’s slightly worrying to me that your Fiance would rather lose money on deposits, risk crappy weather for your wedding day, and inconvenience YOU rather than inconvenience his brother. The fact that your Fiance can’t understand that brother’s 21st birthday =/= his own wedding day is bizarre. 

Hopefully this works out, but honestly, if this had been my DH, I’d be pretty ticked he worked this into an argument for nothing. I’d also be furious with his refusal to discuss it. 

View original reply
theotherbride :  Absolutely do not reschedule. Even if he wanted to go out and “party” he would more than likely not be going out at 8pm or any other time that would conflict with your wedding. Personally, I’d love to have a friend or family member’s wedding on my birthday! Free meal? Open bar? Dancing? Sign me the fuck up. For my 21st birthday, we went out at like 11:30 p.m. the night of my birthday. If he’s really insistent on drinking, I’m sure he can convince a family member to slip him a drink. 

However, I will say that I was never one to get bent out of shape if holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries weren’t able to be celebrated “the day of.” 

Would you be open to possibly inviting a few of his friends to the last half of your reception? My venue didn’t have a strict guest count, so my brother ended up inviting a few of his friends to the end of the reception (he cleared it with me a few weeks prior) and they had a blast! At that point, no food is being served, some people may have already left, so the numbers really won’t be all that skewed and, frankly, no one is really going to notice if a couple of extra dudes come in. 

If that is not going to work for him, he can go out after the wedding. Personally, I find it ridiculous that someone would expect their sibling to reschedule their WEDDING for his birthday. If the roles were reversed and a Bee came on here stating that they wanted their sister to reschedule her wedding for her 21st birthday, everyone would tear that girl a new asshole. Don’t do it, Bee. This is absolutely the hill you want to die on. The brother will live if his birthday is celebrated later that night or, gasp, even the next weekend. 

Post # 17
4062 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Umm. No. 

Post # 18
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

So the venue is booked, the brother is fine with it, and it’s just your fiance who is kicking up a fuss NOW? If he was that concerned about his siblings birthday, why didn’t he mention it before booking? 

I’d ask Fi “why is it so much more important to not upset brother than to not upset me? Is your brother’s convenience worth more than my happiness and the venue deposit?”.

Venue is booked. Date is set. In this situation I’d put my foot down (or what next? You can’t try for a baby because it might be inconvenient timing for another family member?)

Post # 19
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

That’s absolutely ridiculous, he will be fine, don’t change your date for a 21st birthday. What? Did he rent out a venue too and is having a giant celebration? Nope. It’s not like the world is running short on alcohol, it will still be there when your wedding is over and then he can make all the poor, drunken decisions his heart desires. Your Fiance needs to get over it. 

Post # 20
9255 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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theotherbride :  I don’t even understand your fiance’s arguement. What exactly is he saying the problem is?

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