(Closed) Should we skip the rehearsal dinner?

posted 12 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Should we skip the rehearsal dinner?

    Yes, skip it--don't make your guests pay for their own dinner

    Don't skip it--it isn't unreasonable to ask your guests to pay for their plate

    I have another idea! (explain below)

  • Post # 17
    Member
    26 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    You said you live outside of Philadelphia.. since you have the means to travel INTO the city (unlike your guests)… what about driving in.. maybe have them meet you at a local flavor type place? I’m thinking cheese steaks at Pat’s or Geno’s??

    Post # 18
    Member
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Hi Mandy,

    I’m afraid I have strong opinions about guests opening their wallets at invited events.  If they’re traveling, they probably have a budget too, & didn’t factor rehearsal dinner in either.  

    BUT I don’t even think you need to host a “dinner” – all a guest wants is a “welcome to town” event and a little face time with the bride & groom before the big day.  How about a “rehearsal cocktail”?

    Depending on the type of crowd, you could just invite them to meet in a corner of your favorite pub for a pitcher of beer. 

    If you’re having “Welcome Packets” waiting at their hotels when they check in, you could recommend a local cheesesteak place for dinner before they join you for their Rehearsal Pint/Glass of Wine.   This kind of event (I think) would have the same happy celebratory feeling, without the food bill.

    GOOD LUCK! 

    Post # 19
    Member
    300 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    It could be as simple as a BBQ at home with just the wedding party.  If you cut just a few simple things out of your monthly budget you should be able to afford it by October..

    Post # 20
    Member
    300 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Or cut out something else from the wedding.  You still have eight months, I would guess your budget is still somewhat flexible/reworkable.

    Post # 21
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    It’s ok to have a dinner where they’ll have to pay for their own plates, but don’t call it a rehearsal dinner.  Don’t send out formal invitations to it either.  Just tell them verbally that you won’t be having a rehearsal dinner, but you and your parents are planning to get food afterward, and you’d appreciate if they could come too.  Mention that you won’t be able to foot the bill for everyone.

    That way if they really do have an issue with paying for their own, they have the option of not coming, and you’re not forcing them to pay for something they didn’t want to or expect to.  Most likely everyone will be cool with it anyway.

    Just don’t pick a really expensive place for the dinner!

    Post # 22
    Member
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I was going to suggest what several others have already said… have an informal pizza party or chinese. I think it’s a nice gesture to feed your guests and get them together in a more intimate way before the wedding.  I personally would not ask them to pay for their dinner.

    Post # 23
    Member
    513 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I don’t think you should ask your friends and family to pay. Go for pizza or bbq in a local park. How about a picnic in Rittenhouse square? Bring a couple of card tables and chairs for older folk. Downtown Philly is really walkable – I’m sure you can find somewhere in the city.

    Post # 24
    Member
    210 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Im not sure how I would feel about attending a rehearsal dinner and being asked to pay for myself.  I suppose it wouldn’t be so bad.

    I think it would be wonderful to have a Rehearsal Dessert party and just gather and enjoy some cake or cookies while spending some quality time bonding.  That is a very inexpensive way to still offer up some goodies and say “thank you” for their support. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    1953 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Here are the options in my mind.

     

    1. Find a cheap location that you can afford to pay for meals.  As others have suggested, maybe do a lunch, carpool to your place, order pizza, bbq in a park, etc.
    2. Do not have a rehearsal dinner but just casually mention where you will be going out to eat afterwards.  If possible buy dessert or a round of drinks for everyone. 
    3. Maybe just go out for drinks at a bar so it is very casual.  Order a round for everyone.
    4. Don’t do anything at all, and just tell guests you will see them the next day.

    Post # 26
    Member
    755 posts
    Busy bee

    Find some way to host the Rehearsal Dinner and don’t make your bridal party pay. I’m assuming your wedding is on a Saturday, which means they probably have to take Friday off of work, and purchase a plane ticket, and hotel rooms, and a gift for you, and attire. There have got to be other expenses from the wedding or daily life (eating out, buying full price, etc) that you can sacrifice to be able to pay for at least a pizza or BBQ dinner.

    Post # 27
    Member
    640 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I would suggest not making your guests pay for the rehearsal dinner if at all possible. We had a picnic with chicken and pizza at a nearby park that was fun and inexpensive.

    When I was Maid/Matron of Honor at my friend’s wedding last year, they invited us all to a rehearsal dinner at a nice restaurant in town. Nothing was mentioned about who would be paying, and the groomsmen all ordered lobster, etc. They were not impressed at the end of the dinner when they found out they were expected to pay for their own meals. 

    I think it was rude of them to order such expensive food when they thought it was on someone else’s dime, but at the same time I was a little surprised that we were expected to pay. It just seemed wrong to me, but it didn’t ruin my night or anything. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    338 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Home potluck or skip it. Its not a huge deal.

    Post # 29
    Member
    4090 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Just do some cheap take out pizza and go to your house or somerthing. You really should host them for coming to the rehearsal for your wedding.

    Post # 30
    Member
    224 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I vote for pizza.  The last three weddings I was in that is what we ate.  I think your close family anf friends, people in the wedding, get it.  They know you best and should be understanding.

    The topic ‘Should we skip the rehearsal dinner?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors