Should we tell family this early?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: When did you tell your family?
    As soon as I got my BFP! : (12 votes)
    16 %
    4-8 weeks : (27 votes)
    36 %
    8-12 weeks : (21 votes)
    28 %
    12+ weeks : (15 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    3223 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    twistaway :  We told our parents and siblings at almost 9 weeks. Our extended family found out with everyone else at 12 weeks. I was still incredibly nervous between 12 weeks and our next appointment at 14 weeks. I think next time I’d wait longer to tell everyone, even though everything has currently worked out fine (21 weeks right now). 

    However, what works for one person isn’t right for everyone. At 8 weeks it would not be unreasonable to tell your family. It’s also not unreasonable for you to be scared about telling. It’s honestly a personal decision that you have to make yourself depending on what you feel comfortable with. Just consider if you would be glad to have their support if something did go wrong. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    1025 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    We told our parents at 6 weeks, our siblings at 8 weeks, and the rest of the world new at 12 weeks

    Post # 4
    Member
    7886 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    twistaway :  I told my 3 best girlfriends at about 4 weeks because we were hanging out one night and my husband wasn’t going to make it home in time to give me the PIO shot (we did IVF) and I needed one of them to do it for me. They knew every step of my IVF anyways and that if I was still doing shots at that point it was a positive and they were psyched. We told immediate family (parents, sibling, and 1 set of cousins we are particularly close to) at 6 weeks after we saw the heartbeat – these people also knew about the IVF. The rest of our family and friends we’ve been slowly telling as we see them over the holidays starting at about 11 weeks. We’re telling our employers at week 13 after our NT scan (assuming it all goes well). 

    Post # 5
    Member
    217 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    it depends how close you are to your family.  I would feel comfortable telling them after seeing the heartbeat.

    With my first pregnancy, i worked in a job where i had to declare at work and modify job duties right away, so we told our families right away too so they didnt happen to find out from someone else.  I miscarried around 6 weeks (scan did not show a heartbeat).  I’m glad our families knew.

    With my next pregnancy, we told family when we saw them right after the scan where we saw a heartbeat (successful pregnancy).  With my 3rd pregnancy, family was in town just a few days after my BFP, and we decided to announce with a “big brother” shirt on my DS. That was a successful pregnancy too.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2942 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My advice on when to tell is this.  If you plan to tell before 12 weeks, make sure the person/people you tell A. Can keep a secret and B. Are people that you feel comfortable untelling later.  We told my parents sooner than DH’s because DH’s parents are blabber mouths.  We also each got one free pass to tell one friend that we would not mind untelling, just to have someone extra to talk to. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    899 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I told my parents the day after I got bfp and dhs parents were told at eight weeks after we saw the heartbeat. I told my best friend at seven weeks as I thought I had an ectopic pregnancy and wanted some support. Then we slowly told people here and there before doing a Facebook announcement on Boxing Day at 28+1. It’s really up to you when you tell people the risks do go down after seeing a heartbeat but you don’t stop worrying at all. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    twistaway :  That sounds like the perfect time to tell them! We told my and DH’s parents as soon as dr confirmed it (3 days after I POAS). They told our siblings immediately. I told a couple girlfriends as well and then slowly everyone else started to find out between 12 & 24 weeks.

    Post # 9
    Member
    230 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Ed Oliver Golf Club, Wilmington, DE

    We told our families pretty quickly, around 6/7 weeks. I was so nervous that something would happen but I just wanted them to share in our joy. I am now 28 weeks pregnant and we found out about 6 weeks ago that our daughter is going to be born with some critical heart defects, so honestly it was nice that people have known for so long because they are being supportive because we have all been part of this journey. Good luck!! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    4232 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

    While it was a little nerve wracking, we chose to tell family at 7-8 weeks. Our reasoning was if something were to happen, we’d want their support.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1220 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m a first time mum with pcos too so was a bit nervous about telling people. My Darling Husband was leaving for work though and since I was at risk to begin with, we had to tell some friends where we live. We didn’t want to tell them before our parents so we told our parents around 5 weeks but swore them to secrecy and as far as I know no one has spilled the beans yet.

    I had to tell my boss because I was on sick leave so that wasn’t really upto me.

    i told my sister at 7 weeks after I heard the heartbeat, and we just told an auntie and my grandma over Christmas at 10.5 weeks. Darling Husband still hasn’t told his sister, but I wanted to tell my family in person and wouldn’t have another opportunity.

    i wouldn’t necessarily have told all these people so soon, but I know they’ll all be supportive if something goes wrong. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I think if you’re comfortable with it, go ahead, share the great news! I’m 20 weeks, but told my sisters and BFF’s as soon as I got two lines. Other immediate family members as I saw them (before 12 weeks), boss and coworkers at about 15 weeks and then everyone else, when my bump started showing.

    Post # 14
    Member
    47187 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    The idea of waiting until after the first trimester in case you had a miscarriage never really made much sense. If friends and family didn’t know that you were pregnant, they would be wondering what was wrong with you if you were emotionally affected by the loss of a pregnancy.

    A pp said to only tell those ” people that you feel comfortable untelling later. ” Sharing the news that you have experienced a miscarriage is not likely comfortable for many people. I suggest you tell the people from whom you would want support, kindness and understanding.

    Post # 15
    Member
    23 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    I told people I was really close with (my mom and sister) as soon as I found out(around 5 weeks) – then told my dad when I saw the heartbeat. And then the rest of the family found out at Mother’s Day brunch when I dyed the inside of the cake I made pink 🙂 that was around 13 weeks. It feels like FOREVER but it was my first pregnancy and I was also really nervous. 

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