(Closed) should we tell my mother in law that I am pregnant?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Should we tell FMIL that I am pregnant?
    Yes : (16 votes)
    28 %
    No : (41 votes)
    72 %
  • Post # 3
    3627 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think it’s too early to tell anyone :-/

    Post # 4
    3729 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    This is your family and you know them best. For me, what is there to hide from your MIL? The grief of a miscarriage? Do you honestly think she wouldn’t know something is wrong if something does happen?

    I am a higher risk of miscarriage than most and I couldn’t imagine not telling my mom or MIL for three months. They would want to be excited and would want to know if something happened.

    Post # 5
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I think telling her before surgery is not a good idea. Tell her after she has it done. She has enough to deal with right now. 

    You’re getting married in less than 10 days? So is your MIL planning on being at the wedding so soon after surgery?

    Post # 6
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I don’t think you should tell her. The two things have nothing to do with each other. I understand your FI probably wants to give her some comfort before she goes into surgery, but it doesn’t have to be by telling you are pregnant. I would wait until you are a little further along. Plus, would your mom be upset if your mother-in-law knew first? I know my mom would be.

    Post # 7
    1905 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I feel like I’ll be telling my mom and MIL early on, but nobody else until later (okay probably our fathers too, and my sister who is my best friend other than DH).  They are moms, and if something were to happen and you lost the baby, they’d want to be there for you I’d think.  My mom had a few miscarriages back when she was trying for kids, and she didn’t tell her mother about it and later realized that she really needed someone there for her other than my father during her grief.

    however, I don’t know that I’d tell her before her surgery when she is already nervous and scared.  I’d tell her when she is recovering.

    Post # 8
    1579 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

    I think I would tell her after the surgery. 

    Post # 10
    7872 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Only if you would tell her now anyway. I say wait.

    Post # 11
    1501 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We told our parents and siblings right away. If something did happen we would want there love and support.

    I could see where your FI is coming from in wanting to tell her to give her something possitive to think about. If you think this would make her happy and not worry her more before going into surgery then go for it. Just make sure she knows you aren’t telling anyone else until 12 weeks so she doesn’t spread the word.

    Post # 12
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would wait until after her surgery. While I’m sure that she would be absolutely over the moon for you and your FI, it seems as though she is already dealing with a lot of anxiety and emotions about her surgery and I would not want to overwhelm her further. However, I can’t think of a better pick-me-up during her surgery recovery than learning that she is going to be a grandmother!

    Good luck and congratulations 🙂


    Post # 15
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I am happy the surgery went well, my mom had both hips replaced one had complications. Glad you waited too! 

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