(Closed) Should we tell SIL?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010


I personally would wait. As exciting as it is to share the news, I would see what I happening with your SIL first. You want her to still be able to come to you and not feel any anger or resentment, even though you didn’t do anything.

Post # 4
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You’ll have to tell her at some point, regardless of what happens with her baby, but I would wait. It sounds like you aren’t that far along, if you just found out. Can you wait till the 1st trimester is over and tell everyone then, couching your delivery to SIL depending on the status of her baby? 

Post # 4
166 posts
Blushing bee

I would also wait.  Often times, many couples wait to share the news with family and friends until the end of the first trimester.  I believe they do that since the potential of a miscarriage is higher during the first trimester.   I know after my brother and sister in law lost their first pregnancy, they didn’t tell any of us until she was 3 months along.  I know you’re about to die wanting to tell everyone though because you’re so excited.  Personally, I’d wait and see what happens with her.

Post # 5
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I would wait.  I went to a family event where everyone was going nuts over my sister’s belly not knowing that I was mid-miscarrage (and going through fertility treatments).  It was horrible.  They will appreciate your waiting. 

Post # 7
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I would wait.  At least until she knows one way or another and there’s no guessing about it.  She’ll be happy for you either way but giving her the needed attention and prayers right now is a honorable thing.

Post # 8
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree about waiting.  She’ll know the situation in a day or two, so it’s not that long, and I think it’s the right thing to do for your family.  Congratulations, btw!

Post # 9
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’d wait. It seems horribly insensitive to share news like that when she doesn’t even know if her baby will live.

Post # 10
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

If you just found out you are pregnant I would just wait a bit before sharing anything. 

Plus, its kinda fun to just share the excitement between you and your husband (and weddingbee!). 

Post # 11
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I’d wait. I think it’s fine to decide to tell parents before siblings. I’m sure they’d understand why you wanted to wait to tell your SIL and keep quiet until some time has passed.

Post # 12
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Personally I would wait – for two reasons:

You JUST found out – the chances of miscarrage are higher earlier on – so waiting till even 10 weeks would be good, although waiting till 13 is better.

They’re struggling – so why mention this if you know it could make them feel worse? Even if you would tell your family early on I’d say it’s best to wait to be sensitive to their situation.

Seriously, enjoy the time that only you and your husband know, because once you tell everyone that’s all they’ll ask/talk/give you opinions about. Right now waiting till 13 weeks may seem like forever but you’ll realize later into your pregnancy that it’s still very early.

Post # 13
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I would wait; wait the first trimester and hold off telling SIL, very difficult to spread good news when someone may be going through an ordeal in the family; I say better to wait then tell the news all the same time in case the news leaks, sometimes its hard to keep a secret, family will be hurt why you told some and not the others

its nice to have the news between you and hubby for a bit, its special knowing only the two of you knowing

Post # 14
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011


I would wait you never know what willl happen with your pregnancy. Also Even though it will hurt no matter what let them heal if something tragic does happen.. if everything is ok with their baby after the ultrasound I dont see what it would hurt to say anything.

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